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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.5

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 5
The growth of tourism and the numbers of people travelling to other countries for their vacations has led to debate as to whether this is beneficial. I believe that there are many problems which arise out of the tourist industry, and will examine these in detail. Many people argue that travel broadens the mind. However, this statement does not fully hold water. I would argue that spending a few weeks in another country is not long enough to gain a proper understanding of an alien culture. A foreigner visiting Britain might be met with the traditional British reserve, and mistakenly conclude that the British are unfriendly. Furthermore, some people are unwilling to open their minds. A Western traveller to an Arab country is unlikely to consider that the veiling of women is acceptable. Being a tourist in a foreign country brings with it problems that can lead to dislike of the native people. Firstly, a foreigner is vulnerable, and is often ripped off by locals. Secondly, the language barrier can lead to misunderstandings. Thirdly, tourists are often hassled to buy goods, which can ruin a holiday. When I went to Bali, people tried to sell me something every five minutes, and this totally spoilt my sunbathing. Local people also often end up disliking foreigners. Visitors may mistakenly act contrary to local norms, or they may just be plain offensive, as many drunken British holidaymakers must seem to the Spanish. Global tourism can lead to hostility from the native people, who may feel their traditional way of life is under threat. Additionally, the relative wealth of the foreign visitors can cause envy and resentment. In conclusion, I would say that I largely agree with the argument that global tourism creates misunderstanding between people from different cultures, and that the differences are often a cause for conflict rather than celebration
The growth of tourism and the numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for their vacations has led to debate
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
this is beneficial. I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems which arise out of the tourist industry, and will examine these in detail.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that travel broadens the mind.
However
, this statement does not
fully
hold water. I would argue that spending a few weeks in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is not long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to gain a proper understanding of an alien culture. A foreigner visiting Britain might
be met
with the traditional British reserve, and
mistakenly
conclude that the British are
unfriendly
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unwilling to open their minds. A Western
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
to an Arab
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is unlikely to consider that the veiling of women is acceptable.

Being a tourist in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
brings with it problems that can lead to dislike of the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, a foreigner is vulnerable, and is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
ripped off by locals.
Secondly
, the language barrier can lead to misunderstandings.
Thirdly
, tourists are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
hassled to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, which can ruin a holiday. When I went to Bali,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tried to sell me something every five minutes, and this
totally
Possible spelling mistake. 'spoilt' is British English.
spoilt
my sunbathing.

Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up disliking foreigners. Visitors may
mistakenly
act contrary to local norms, or they may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be plain offensive, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drunken British holidaymakers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
seem to the Spanish. Global tourism can lead to hostility from the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who may feel their traditional way of life is under threat.
Additionally
, the relative wealth of the foreign visitors can cause envy and resentment.

In conclusion
, I would say that I
largely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument that global tourism creates misunderstanding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, and that the differences are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
a cause for conflict
rather
than celebration
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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