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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 2
Evidently, global tourism is the largest and fastest growing industry around the world thanks to globalisation. However, many opine that instead of creating harmony between the people from various culture((S IS REQUIRED HERE), it ignites stress in various tourist areas between visitors and domestic people. I completely support the view owing to following reasons. Firstly, religious beliefs are often disrespected by the foreign tourists, which makes domestic people upset. Violation of dress code, for instance, often reported in various temples in India by the international tourists(COMMA IS REQUIRED HERE) so that many Hindu believers assert against tourism in those holy regions. Such incidents, occasionally, turn into violence, which, in turn, surge even international tensions. Secondly, depletion of resources is yet another reason for issues between international tourists and people in the host country. In details, world famous tourist spots are often visited by millions of people around the globe and it, naturally, leads to excessive consumption of resources such as water. Munnar, a (AN) international tourist area in India would be an epitome as it is facing drought during summer as a result of excessive tourism. Therefore(COMMA IS REQUIRED HERE) many people in that regions ( S IS NOT REQUIRED HERE)are not welcoming international tourists. To sum up, international tourism is creating tension between foreigners and domestic people due to various reasons. Disrespectful attitude towards the religious beliefs and uncontrolled consumption of resources by the international tourists are the prime reasons for it. In order to tackle this menace, responsible authorities need to take necessary actions to educate the tourist about the culture and environmental protection before visiting a country.
Evidently
, global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the largest and fastest growing industry around the world thanks to
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opine that
instead
of creating harmony between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
culture
Unpaired symbol: ')' seems to be missing
(
(S IS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
REQUIRED
HERE), it ignites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
areas between visitors and domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I completely support the view owing to following reasons.

Firstly
, religious beliefs are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
disrespected by the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
upset. Violation of dress code,
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
reported in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
temples in India by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tourists(COMMA IS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
REQUIRED
HERE)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Hindu believers assert against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in those holy regions. Such incidents,
occasionally
, turn into violence, which, in turn, surge even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tensions.

Secondly
, depletion of resources is
yet
another reason for issues between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the host country. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
spots are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
visited by millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe and it,
naturally
, leads to excessive consumption of resources such as water.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Munnar
, a (AN)
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international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
area in India would be an epitome as it is facing drought during summer
as a result
of excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
(COMMA IS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
REQUIRED
HERE)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in that regions
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
S IS NOT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
REQUIRED
HERE)are not welcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tourists.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is creating tension between foreigners and domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
reasons. Disrespectful attitude towards the religious beliefs and uncontrolled consumption of resources by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are the prime reasons for it. In order to tackle this menace, responsible authorities need to take necessary actions to educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
about the culture and environmental protection
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
visiting a country.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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