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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.3

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 3
It is undeniable that tourism business is booming, as it was a decade ago. Currently this industry is the largest among others. Some people opine that this trend is creating much tension between people from different cultural instead of boosting their relationship. I assert, that it is not completely true, because of a few incidents it cannot be argued that travelling to other countries bring more stress rather than friendly relationships. As there were certain incidents happened in the past, where local people of the host country pressurised the visitors for certain things, such as visitors were forced to wear their traditional clothes, eat their local food, etc. Another point is to mention, sometimes tourists also do not follow certain rules and regulation for example, in some temples in India shoes are not allowed inside the temple premises. This mismatch between understanding of people from different backgrounds creates debate and later it converted into a fight, which definitely is a tensionful environment. These incidents can be solved if all together come forward and broaden their mentalities. There are numerous examples where it shows that due to international travel the countries are coming together and people are also welcoming each other. To exemplify, people all around the globe are exchanging their cultural values with other, enjoying international food varieties. In other words, whenever any individual travels abroad, he tries to communicate in their local language which certainly a step forward in strengthening the relationship. By the way of conclusion, although it has been believed by many, that visiting other country always creates a tensionful environment, I believe that due to some unfortunate incidents, it cannot be categorized, International tourism always gives a chance to make new friends, memories and good relationships.
It is undeniable that tourism business is booming, as it was a decade ago.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Currently
this industry is the largest among others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that this trend is creating much tension between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultural
instead
of boosting their relationship. I assert, that it is not completely true,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
it cannot
be argued
that travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
bring more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
rather
than friendly relationships.

As there were certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
happened in the past, where local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Possible spelling mistake. 'pressurised' is British English.
pressurised
the visitors for certain things, such as visitors
were forced
to wear their traditional clothes, eat their local food, etc. Another point is to mention,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
tourists
also
do not follow certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation
for example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
temples in India shoes are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
inside the temple premises. This mismatch between understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds creates debate and later it converted into a fight, which definitely is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
tensionful
environment.

These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
can
be solved
if all together
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward and broaden their mentalities. There are numerous examples where it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that due to international travel the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are coming together and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
welcoming each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. To exemplify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the globe are exchanging their cultural values with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, enjoying international food varieties. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, whenever any individual travels abroad, he tries to communicate in their local language which
certainly
a step forward in strengthening the relationship.

By the way of conclusion, although it has
been believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, that visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
always creates a
Possible spelling mistake found.
tensionful
environment, I believe that due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unfortunate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
, it cannot
be categorized
, International tourism always gives a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends, memories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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