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many people spoil natural beauties like sea, beaches, mountains and lakes. do people responsible for that? what should be done to stop people to spoil natural beauty? give the reasons and examples for your answer. v.1

many people spoil natural beauties like sea, beaches, mountains and lakes. do people responsible for that? what should be done to stop people to spoil natural beauty? give the reasons and examples for your answer. v. 1
Nowadays, people are moving to different countries for several reasons. Some might due to better work opportunities, others might want to see the world. In my opinion, I believe that the advantages of living in the foreign language country outweighed by the drawbacks. People can embrace a huge amount of benefits for living aboard. Firstly, it is obvious that we can learn these languages faster and easier. You would have a lot of opportunities to practice these languages, for example, chatting with your friends or shopping on the street. These can help you to improve your skills and become just like a native speaker. Secondly, you can have some unique experiences when you live in the different culture of the society. For example, you would have a chance to celebrate the Christmas, during the summertime if you are living in the Australia. Hence, staying in the foreign country can improve your languages and embrace the different culture. However, there are some negative impacts when you are living in a country that using different languages. Firstly, you are probably misunderstanding someone, especially when they have a heavy accent. These problems sometime might make you become accords with your friends and also can influence your daily lives. Secondly, living in the unfamiliar environment might have some impacts on your mental health, such as self-isolates. For example, some researches show that some student study aboard makes them speak less and under the pressure. Therefore, sometimes having experiences in the different country might cause some social or mental problems. In conclusion, although there are some disadvantages when you living in the different distance from your hometown, the benefits of it can help you become the best version of yourself. Not only can become a bilingual person, but also can experience a variety of cultures and know different people.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for several reasons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
due to better work opportunities, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world. In my opinion, I believe that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
outweighed by the drawbacks.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can embrace a huge amount of benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
aboard.
Firstly
, it is obvious that we can learn these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
faster and easier. You would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opportunities to practice these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
,
for example
, chatting with your friends or shopping on the street. These can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like a native speaker.
Secondly
, you can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unique experiences when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
culture of the society.
For example
, you would have a chance to celebrate the Christmas, during the
Consider using "summer".
summertime
if you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the Australia.
Hence
, staying in the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and embrace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
culture.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts when you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Firstly
, you are
probably
misunderstanding someone,
especially
when they have a heavy accent. These problems sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
accords with your friends and
also
can influence your daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the unfamiliar environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
impacts on your mental health, such as self-isolates.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
student study aboard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them speak less and under the pressure.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
having experiences in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social or mental problems.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
distance from your hometown, the benefits of it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the best version of yourself. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a bilingual person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can experience a variety of cultures and know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay many people spoil natural beauties like sea, beaches, mountains and lakes. do people responsible for that? what should be done to stop people to spoil natural beauty? give the reasons and examples for your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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