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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. v. 1
Tourism remains the backbone of many nation's economy. It is believed currently that global tourism is the most developed sector worldwide. However instead of cooperation and peaceful existence, this sector has faced some challenge in form of disputes between host nations and vacationer's. I totally disagree with the statement as tourism has benefited man in ways such as global unity and international identification of ones culture. It is understandable why people opine that international tourism has given rise to the emergence of travelers to visiting country's crisis because of the cultural difference. To illustrate, in 2015, an American couple was arrested in Qatar after they were captured by CCTV kissing in one of the amusement parks. The lifestyle is the way of life of the couple while such act is against the host country norms. A lot of disputes has occurred because most tourists practice there own custom within the new destination and most times, these cultural differences are seen as defiling. Nevertheless, global tourism has created an avenue for international cooperation. That is, countries now seek bilateral ties through this avenue because of the widespread visits by this tourers to different nations. For example, Nigeria has heightened her mutual relationship with Saudi Arabia because of influx of citizens from both parties, making provision for both social, economical and security benefits. In addition, tourism has paved way for the widespread of people culture's. For instance, the Zulu culture in South Africa is studied as a course in the department of culture in Oxford University UK. It gives room for learning and sharing of ones identity and makes one lifestyle unique. To conclude, although international tourism has resulted to conflict between tourist and host cultures, it remains paramount in maintaining global peace and selling out of ones identity. It is therefore imperative that its continuity is ensured.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
remains the backbone of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "nations"?
nation's
economy. It
is believed
currently
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the most developed sector worldwide.
However
instead
of cooperation and peaceful existence, this sector has faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenge in form of disputes between host nations and vacationer's. I
totally
disagree with the statement as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has benefited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in ways such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
unity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
identification of
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
culture.

It is understandable why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rise to the emergence of travelers to visiting country's crisis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the cultural difference. To illustrate, in 2015, an American couple
was arrested
in Qatar after they
were captured
by CCTV kissing in one of the amusement parks. The lifestyle is the way of life of the couple while such act is against the host country norms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
disputes has occurred
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most tourists practice there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
custom within the new destination and most times, these cultural differences are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as defiling.

Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has created an avenue for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
cooperation.
That is
, countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
seek bilateral ties through this avenue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the widespread visits by
Did you mean "these"?
this
Possible spelling mistake found.
tourers
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations.
For example
, Nigeria has heightened her mutual relationship with Saudi Arabia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of influx of citizens from both parties, making provision for both social, economical and security benefits.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has paved way for
The phrase 'the widespread of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the widespread of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
culture's.
For instance
, the Zulu culture in South Africa
is studied
as a course in the department of culture in Oxford University UK. It gives room for learning and sharing of
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
identity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
one lifestyle unique.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has resulted to conflict between tourist and host cultures, it remains paramount in maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
peace and selling out of
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
identity. It is
therefore
imperative that its continuity
is ensured
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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