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In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree? v.1

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. v. 1
Owing to the independent culture these days, females prefer to stay single for their entire life. A better part of society thinks that this is because they are self dependent, and hence, monetary safety through marriage is no longer considered by them. I agree with the above notion, but only to a certain extent. Though, self-reliance on earning plays a prominent role in taking this decision, work and family aspects can be the deciding factor. One of the main reasons that money is considered as a vital factor while deciding not to get married is that in yesteryears, due to conservative culture, females were not allowed to study or work. So they had no say while choosing a life partner and had to compromise. Also, they had to depend on their husband or in-laws for their basic and monetary needs. Another reason that can be mentioned here is that being able to earn gives a boost to their self-worth, which in turn, helps them to gain confidence. And it is this confidence that helps them to make life changing decisions in a better way. Furthermore, this self-worth helps them to create an impact in their social life, because of which they are thought as an esteemed figure and people aspire to be like them. Having said that, there are some other factors too that women keep in mind before taking this decision. One of them is work. Females these days are well educated and even they dream to become successful in their respective field. Work is of utmost importance to them and hence, it comes first. In some cases, these ladies work so hard their entire life to get a particular job, that there is nothing as important to them as that job. Another factor that needs a limelight is family. No matter what, women are not ready to get separated from their close ones. While one reason for this can be that they are bound to stay with their family as they are the ones responsible to look after their family members, another reason for this could be the love and affection they get from their own family, which they think they may not get from the in-laws. To conclude, though, no one can deny the fact that self-dependence has led female fraternity to stay single, important factors like their job and family have also contributed in this change.
Owing to the independent culture these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
prefer to stay single for their entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A better part of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are self dependent, and
hence
, monetary safety through marriage is no longer considered by them. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above notion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to a certain extent. Though, self-reliance on earning plays a prominent role in taking this decision,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
aspects can be the deciding factor.

One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that money
is considered
as a vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
while deciding not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married is that in
Possible spelling mistake found.
yesteryears
, due to conservative culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to study or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they had no say while choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
partner and had to compromise.
Also
, they had to depend on their husband or in-laws for their basic and monetary needs. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that can
be mentioned
here is that being able to earn gives a boost to their self-worth, which in turn,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to gain confidence. And it is this confidence that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
changing decisions in a better way.
Furthermore
, this self-worth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to create an impact in their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
as an esteemed figure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aspire to be like them.

Having said that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
Did you mean "to that"?
too that
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking this decision. One of them is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Females
these days are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
and even they dream to become successful in their respective field.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
is of utmost importance to them and
hence
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
first
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, these ladies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
their entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a particular job, that there is nothing as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to them as that job. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
that needs a limelight is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. No matter what, women are not ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
separated from their close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. While one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this can be that they
are bound
to stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as they are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
responsible to look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this could be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from the in-laws.

To conclude
, though, no one can deny the fact that self-dependence has led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
fraternity to stay single,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
like their job and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
have
also
contributed in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
400 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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