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The food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think it would be better to our environment and economy if people only ate local produced food. What extent do the advantages outweigh disadvantages v.2

The food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think it would be better to our environment and economy if people only ate local produced food. What extent do the advantages outweigh disadvantages v. 2
It is generally observed that due to globalization importing and exporting things now become has very common. Similarly, food is one of the most common commodity, which imported and exported every day. Therefore, people vocalize that this trend negative impact on the environment as well as economy of the country. Although this trend has some benefits, but I also support to ideology of people. On the one hand, everyone knows that in these days people Foodaholic they fond of eating a different type of a food. As, if international food will be imported into a country, then people have opportunities to eat as well as a taste assorted type of foods instead of local food. Like, kiwi, which is the national food of New Zealand, however, due to globalization this food easily available in the market. As everyone can buy it and eat it. On the other hand, importing and exporting of food lay some detrimental on economy and environment. Chiefly, every time food transfer from one location to other with assistance of different mode of transport such as aeroplanes, trains, ships and so on. So, it emits toxic gases, which deteriorating an environment at an alarming rate. Apart from this, it also affected by economy of country, which import food from another nation because people do not like to eat local food and give a priority to foreign food. Owing to which the demand of local food decline, which directly effect to farming. Also, countries need to pay massive amounts Of money for exporter nation, which ultimately affected by the growth of the nation. To recapitulate, undoubtedly when the countries receive food from other countries, the natives have options to try different food, but it also brings up some grave issues which we cannot overlook.
It is
generally
observed that due to globalization importing and exporting things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is one of the most common
Please check whether a plural form of 'commodity' should be used.
commodity
, which imported and exported every day.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
vocalize that this trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the environment
as well
as economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Although this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
support to ideology of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the one hand, everyone knows that in these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
Foodaholic
they fond of eating a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
If 'type' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "type of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
type of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. As, if international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will
be imported
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have opportunities to eat
as well
as a taste assorted type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
instead
of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Like, kiwi, which is the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
of New Zealand,
however
, due to globalization this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
easily
available in the market. As everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it and eat it.

On the other hand
, importing and exporting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
lay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental on economy and environment.
Chiefly
, every time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
transfer from one location to other with assistance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mode of transport such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
, trains, ships and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it emits toxic gases, which deteriorating an environment at an alarming rate. Apart from this, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by economy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which import
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from another nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not like to eat local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and give a priority to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Owing to which the demand of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
decline, which
directly
effect to farming.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
need to pay massive amounts

Of money for exporter nation, which
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the growth of the nation.

To recapitulate,
undoubtedly
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the natives have options to try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
brings up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
grave issues which we cannot overlook.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay The food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think it would be better to our environment and economy if people only ate local produced food. What extent do the advantages outweigh disadvantages v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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