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In many countries, some students live with their families while studying, but other students prefer to attend universities in other cities. Do the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

In many countries, some students live with their families while studying, but other students prefer to attend universities in other cities. Do the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
There is no doubt that, university life is one of the most important part of a student's life. There are many people who think, living with their family will help students focus better on their studies. But I believe students should move out of their comfort zone once they pass out from their schools and experience life outside of their hometown. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and put forth my views supporting the latter. For many students, moving out of their homes to a new city to attend universities can be a traumatic experience, because hostel life at a university can be rough initially, since he/she needs to get used to the new environment. This sudden change can sometimes make the student home sick and they may start to lose focus on their studies. To illustrate, many students who move from rural areas to universities in metro cities may find it very difficult to adjust to the life in a big city. A survey conducted at Anna University in Chennai revealed that 30% of the students are unhappy with their hostel life and claims its affecting their studies. However, moving to a new city to attend university will help students learn important life lessons, like adapting to a new environment and managing your own money. One of the most important skill a employer looks at when hiring from universities is his/her's soft skills and living in a new city will help students hone this skill. Furthermore, moving away from once hometown will equip students to manage uncertainty In conclusion, despite the culture shock and new living conditions in a new city, I believe that broadening one's horizon is a positive which outweighs any and all negatives.
There is no doubt that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of a student's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, living with their family will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
focus better on their studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of their comfort zone once they pass out from their schools and experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
their hometown. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and put forth my views supporting the latter.

For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, moving out of their homes to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
city to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can be a traumatic experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
hostel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can be rough
initially
, since he/she needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment. This sudden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
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student
home
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sick and
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to lose focus on their studies. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from rural areas to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in metro
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cities
may find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to adjust to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city. A survey conducted at Anna
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
in Chennai revealed that 30% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are unhappy with their hostel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and claims its affecting their studies.

However
, moving to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
city to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
lessons, like adapting to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment and managing your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
money. One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
employer looks at when hiring from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is his/
Did you mean "her" or "hers"?
her's
soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
city will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
hone this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
Furthermore
, moving away from once hometown will equip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to manage uncertainty

In conclusion
, despite the culture shock and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
living conditions in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
city, I believe that broadening one's horizon is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
which outweighs any and all negatives.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, some students live with their families while studying, but other students prefer to attend universities in other cities. Do the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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