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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v.6

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 6
Some people believe that punishment is necessary to teach the difference between good and bad to the children. I partially agree with this view, as some types of punishments are beneficial, but other types have negative consequences for the children. In my opinion, non-physical punishments have various advantages. Firstly, if the children are doing any wrong, then it is the responsibility of the elders to correct the mistakes of the young children. One easy way is to give them a small punishment, so that they will never repeat it again. As a result, children will not do the same mistake again due to the fear from the previous punishment. However, physical punishment has negative effect on the youngsters. Some children are weak and sensitive, and they can get injuries from such punishments. For example, a student in India died in 2007 after getting beaten by his teacher in the school. All forms of physical punishments should be avoided. The parents and the teachers can use non-physical punishments to correct the behavior of the children. Firstly, the teachers can give more homework to the child caught doing something wrong to put pressure on him. Secondly, a teacher can exclude that child from the class activities. This will teach the student that if he does anything bad, he will be left alone. Moreover, the parents can teach their child by taking some facilities away from him. For instance, they can take away some of the toys the child loves to teach him a lesson. In conclusion, I agree that children can be given punishments to teach them whenever they show bad behavior. However, the punishments should only be mental, rather than physical.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the difference between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are beneficial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other types have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences for the children.

In my opinion, non-physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
have various advantages.
Firstly
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are doing any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, then it is the responsibility of the elders to correct the mistakes of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. One easy way is to give them a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will never repeat it again.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will not do the same mistake again due to the fear from the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
However
, physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the youngsters.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are weak and sensitive, and they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
injuries from such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
.
For example
, a student in India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
in 2007 after getting beaten by his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in the school. All forms of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
should
be avoided
.

The parents and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
non-physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
to correct the behavior of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can give more homework to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
caught doing something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to put pressure on him.
Secondly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
can exclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
activities. This will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the student that if he does anything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, he will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone.
Moreover
, the parents can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facilities away from him.
For instance
, they can take away
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
toys the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
him a lesson.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behavior.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be mental,
rather
than physical.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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