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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.21

In today's world, international tourism is generating enormous financial-economic and has become an important source of income for numerous countries around the globe. However, it's believed that travel overseas cultural forms tension instead of understanding. I partly disagree with this notion as in my opinion, international travel generates cultural learning and acceptance. On the one hand, some behaviours of the visitors may indeed cause conflicts. Apparently, some of the tourists do not bother to search for information about the cultures of their destinations before they start off, so they might display some impolite or even offensive behaviour, which can lead to local people’s unhappiness or even aggression. For example, a Western travelled to an Arab country is unlikely to consider that the covering of women from head to toe with fabric is acceptable or the killing of animals for certain holidays is humane. It can add to the tension when a westerner decides that this is wrong and tries to disclose on social media. Each culture has its customs, values, and belief system, and global tourism brings diverse cultural backgrounds in one place, resulting in several differing opinions in the same place. However, the tourism industry is the best possible way to build a bridge between diverse cultures. When people from different cultures come together, they'll gain knowledge about other traditions and languages. In fact, this forms acceptance, respect between global cultures as people get aware of other people’s cultural values. Besides, the development of travelling overseas stimulates economic growth by generating enormous employment opportunities. These lead to an increase in the average household income and a decrease in the unemployed rate. In conclusion, Some conflicts may arise from the misunderstanding due to the growing popularity of travel, but I would argue that most people become more open and permissive with other cultures
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, international tourism is generating enormous financial-economic and has become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source of income for numerous countries around the globe.
However
, it's believed that travel overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
forms tension
instead
of understanding. I partly disagree with this notion as in my opinion, international travel generates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
learning and acceptance.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviours’ is British English.
behaviours
of the visitors may
indeed
cause conflicts.
Apparently
,
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
some of the
tourists do not bother to search for information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
of their destinations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they might display
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
impolite or even offensive
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
, which can lead to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
unhappiness or even aggression.
For example
, a Western travelled to an Arab country is unlikely to consider that the covering of women from head to toe with fabric is acceptable or the killing of animals for certain holidays is humane. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the tension when a westerner decides that this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and tries to disclose on social media. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
has its customs, values, and belief system, and global tourism brings diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
backgrounds in one place, resulting in several differing opinions in the same place.

However
, the tourism industry is the best possible way to build a bridge between diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together, they'll gain knowledge about other traditions and languages. In fact, this forms acceptance, respect between global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
aware of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
values.
Besides
, the development of travelling overseas stimulates economic growth by generating enormous employment opportunities. These lead to an increase in the average household income and a decrease in the unemployed rate.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
conflicts may arise from the misunderstanding due to the growing popularity of travel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would argue that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more open and permissive with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
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IELTS essay Some people think that international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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