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music brings people from different age groups and cultures together. How much do you agree with this statement? v.1

music brings people from different age groups and cultures together. How much v. 1
Music has been played since the very beginning of human history: prehistoric music instruments, as well as ancient rock paintings portraying such an activity, had been found in archaeological sites. Furthermore, we have records, especially through our artistic heritage, that music has always been a central aspect of people’s gathering, developing through the ages with peculiar features in every culture. According to this, I see how music has and always has had the power of bringing people together, no matter their age or their cultural background. I can find evidence of this in my everyday life: my parents have always made me listen to singers and bands from their younghood and now we share the same music taste, even improvising our own “concert” every time we get into the car for a long drive. This is such a good way to enjoy our time together! Nowadays, almost everyone listens to international and commercial music: teens all over the world share their pop/rock idols and at concerts people from everywhere gather together to enjoy their passion. Though, I believe that the multiculturality of music goes way back in the time: for instance, it was in the Middle Era that European merchants imported Asiatic music, along with silks and spices, in the aristocratic courts. On the other hand, I find another example of the cultural heritage of music in my own one: in my region, during folkloristic festivals, it is still very common to play songs from the tradition, playing old instruments while wearing typical robes. This is a very nice way to make people know about my culture and I am always very pleased to invite friends to those gatherings. In conclusion, I personally believe that music can be a gap-filler not only between people belonging to different generations, but also between those who live on the two opposite sides of the world. It is an activity that warms people hearts and brings them together.
Music
has
been played
since the
very
beginning of human history: prehistoric
music
instruments,
as well
as ancient rock paintings portraying such an activity, had
been found
in archaeological sites.
Furthermore
, we have records,
especially
through our artistic heritage, that
music
has always been a central aspect of
people’s
gathering, developing through the ages with peculiar features in every culture.

According to this, I
see
how
music
has and always has had the power of bringing
people
together, no matter their age or their cultural background. I can find evidence of this in my everyday life: my parents have always made me listen to singers and bands from their
younghood
and
now
we share the same
music
taste, even improvising our
own
“concert” every time we
get
into the car for a long drive. This is such a
good
way to enjoy our time together!

Nowadays, almost everyone listens to international and commercial
music
: teens all over the world share their pop/rock idols and at concerts
people
from everywhere gather together to enjoy their passion. Though, I believe that the
multiculturality
of
music
goes way back in the time:
for instance
, it was in the Middle Era that European merchants imported Asiatic
music
, along with silks and spices, in the aristocratic courts.
On the other hand
, I find another example of the cultural heritage of
music
in my
own
one: in my region, during
folkloristic
festivals, it is
still
very
common to play songs from the tradition, playing
old
instruments while wearing typical robes. This is a
very
nice way to
make
people
know about my
culture and
I am always
very
pleased
to invite friends to those gatherings.

In conclusion
, I
personally
believe that
music
can be a gap-filler not
only
between
people
belonging to
different
generations,
but
also
between those who
live
on the two opposite sides of the world. It is an activity that warms
people
hearts and brings them together.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay music brings people from different age groups and cultures together. How much v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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