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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.19

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 19
These days the role of the tourism business in the economy cannot be neglected. The sightseeing management has emerged as one of the biggest corporation in the world, providing jobs to millions. Often it is said, that earth is becoming smaller, and I believe it is because of the frequent international transit. I do not agree that international movement creates tension; in fact, it brings different culture together. I completely disagree with the statement international travel creates tension; in fact, it brings different culture together. I will support my opinion with examples Firstly, it is believed that international navigation is the best possible way of building bridges between diverse cultures of the earth. It helps people in experiencing the natural beauty which could not be found in their country when people from different cultures come together, they get exposed to different parts of the nature and gain knowledge about other traditions, philosophies and languages For example, many tourists come to India to seek spiritual guidance and to learn yoga, which they might not get in their country. Another reason why disagrees because People are getting closer and friendlier to each other despite all differences they have Moreover, countries like the Maldives, Thailand, India (Goa) etc. Thrives in vacation, business and we can clearly notice the difference between the people’s attitude towards each other in these places as compared to others. People are friendlier, understanding and accommodating. They are ready to change themselves easily to cater to the new demands of touring. Take Dubai as an example which is part of UAE but is very different than any other emirates. It is because of international sightseeing that Dubai is more tolerant and modern and developed. In a nutshell, I think, international trip mitigates tension between the two nations rather than creating.
These days the role of the tourism business in the economy cannot
be neglected
. The sightseeing management has emerged as one of the biggest corporation in the world, providing jobs to millions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
it
is said
, that earth is becoming smaller, and I believe it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
transit. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
movement creates tension; in fact, it brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
together.

I completely disagree with the statement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
travel creates tension; in fact, it brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
together.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will support my opinion with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
examples


Firstly
, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
navigation is the best possible way of building bridges between diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
of the earth. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in experiencing the natural beauty which could not
be found
in their country when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
parts of the nature and gain knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
traditions, philosophies and languages

For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to India to seek spiritual guidance and to learn yoga, which they might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in their country.

Another reason why disagrees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are getting closer and friendlier to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
despite all differences they have
Moreover
, countries like the Maldives, Thailand, India (Goa) etc. Thrives in vacation,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
business and
we can
clearly
notice the difference between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
attitude towards each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in these places as compared to others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are friendlier, understanding and accommodating. They are ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
themselves
easily
to cater to the new demands of touring. Take Dubai as an example which is part
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the UAE".
of UAE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
emirates. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sightseeing that Dubai is more tolerant and modern and developed.

In a nutshell, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
trip mitigates tension between the two nations
rather
than creating.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 19

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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