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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.7

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. v. 7
In modern times, the issue of selecting a job has become highly controversial. It has been suggested that money is considered to be of the essence when people are being employed and my opinion is not on par with the idea that nowadays wage plays a radical role rather than other factors. On the one hand, money is necessary that allows people to meet basic human needs in daily lives. This is to say that the cost of living has been dramatically increased over the years and every person wants to survive with all comforts. For instance, we need money in order to pay for housing, education, food and so on. Hence, it is clear that if a person does not opt for a career that recovers daily needs, there will be more people who can suffer from this choice. However, there are factors such as interest and job satisfaction are, indeed, crucial parts in most people’s lives. Firstly, people spend a huge amount of time in their workplace to earn much money. So, if they work in a profession that they are not fulfilled, they will feel unhappy in the rest of their lives. Secondly, if they don’t like the job that they are working, they will suffer from what they have done. The result of not being satisfied with the job is that a feeling of disappointment rise, which in turn leads to health problems. In conclusion, albeit wage plays an integral part to guarantee the current quality of life, I believe that people must take into account the fact that they should think about job satisfaction and a sense of fulfillment before making a career choice.
In modern times, the issue of selecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has become
highly
controversial. It has
been suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is considered
to be of the essence when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
being employed
and my opinion is not on par with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that nowadays wage plays a radical role
rather
than other factors.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is necessary that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
basic human needs in daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This is to say that the cost of living has been
dramatically
increased over the years and every person wants to survive with all comforts.
For instance
, we need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in order to pay for housing, education, food and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that if a person does not opt for a career that recovers daily needs, there will be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can suffer from this choice.

However
, there are factors such as interest and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction are,
indeed
, crucial parts in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a huge amount of time in their workplace to earn much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if they work in a profession that they are not fulfilled, they will feel unhappy in the rest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Secondly
, if they don’t like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that they are working, they will suffer from what they have done. The result of not
being satisfied
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is that a feeling of disappointment rise, which in turn leads to health problems.

In conclusion
, albeit wage plays an integral part to guarantee the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
quality of life, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take into account the fact that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction and a sense of fulfillment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a career choice.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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