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some suggest that fixed punishment is a strong law to prevent crimes v.1

some suggest that fixed punishment is a strong law to prevent crimes v. 1
The world is filled with crimes of different kinds and scenarios. The law has a systematic punishment scheme, according to each offence. Some argue that fixed discipline is recommended as a strong deterrent. I disagree with such opinion and believe that each case has its own circumstances that need investigation and the result will decide what kind of sentence the offender deserve. First of all, not all, violations were committed under the same circumstances. For example, if you are accused of killing felony, the judge and jury need to understand the causes that propel you to commit such misconduct. Many who killed someone because of self-defence which is treated differently from an intentional killing. Although, personal circumstances, such as extreme poverty or mental health should be taken into account. Such as, many shoplifters, although illegal, forced for stealing because of their poor status. Moreover, a person who has never committed a breach should not receive the same trial as a repeat offender with a long prison record. As an example of that, a bank employee with clean criminal records who roped his own bank should not be treated as another person charged with repeated bank robbery. On the other hand, some argue that the fixed discipline law will prevent any corruption within the legal system affecting the punishment given, besides it will prevent criminal slipping through the loopholes in the law. In conclusion, it may well be that the prospect of being caught and punished is more potent deterrent than the prospect of a harsh sentence which in turn each case need to be treated according to its surrounding conditions that cast behind the criminal scene.
The world
is filled
with crimes of
different
kinds and scenarios. The law has a systematic punishment scheme, according to each
offence
.
Some
argue that
fixed
discipline
is recommended
as a strong deterrent. I disagree with such opinion and believe that each case has its
own
circumstances that need investigation and the result will decide what kind of sentence the offender deserve.

First of all
, not all, violations
were committed
under the same circumstances.
For example
, if you
are accused
of killing felony, the judge and jury need to understand the causes that propel you to commit such misconduct.
Many
who killed someone
because
of
self-defence
which
is treated
differently
from an intentional killing.

Although, personal circumstances, such as extreme poverty or mental health should
be taken
into account. Such as,
many
shoplifters, although illegal, forced for stealing
because
of their poor status.

Moreover
, a person who has never committed a breach should not receive the same trial as a repeat offender with a long prison record. As an example of that, a bank employee with clean criminal records who roped his
own
bank should not
be treated
as another person charged with repeated bank robbery.

On the other hand
,
some
argue that the
fixed
discipline law will
prevent
any corruption within the legal system affecting the punishment
given
,
besides
it will
prevent
criminal slipping through the loopholes in the law.

In conclusion
, it may well be that the prospect of
being caught
and punished is more potent deterrent than the prospect of a harsh sentence which in turn each case need to
be treated
according to its surrounding conditions that cast behind the criminal scene.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay some suggest that fixed punishment is a strong law to prevent crimes v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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