Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.25

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 25
These days, watching television is undeniably one of the most favourite hobbies of children. But I strongly believe books can never be replaced by TV set as a means of learning gadget I completely agree with the statement because the station is more for entertainment, not for training purposes. I will support my opinion with examples Firstly, owing to the fact that children often misuse television in the disappearance of parents For instance, learning programs are less attractive compared the cartoon shows and it is expected that every child prefer to watch shows which are appealing to the senses. Another reason why I agree box is not as suitable as a book because using books, children can research as long as they want with full attention and without any detrimental effect on their physique. On the other hand, watching the broadcast For a long time has a terrible impact on their physical development. Taken a recent research has reported that more than 70 percent of children go for cartoons and animated game series remaining absent-minded towards their studies. I strongly believe that when children learn through the box, then their focus will be on audio-visual presentation, not in learning. What is more important that if children follow books they develop focus on lessons it offers. On the other hand the inclusion of projects and LEDs while teaching can make learning a fun activity However; it is a too expensive process to afford by the children from lower-class families. In Conclusion, although television set is more entertaining than books, it cannot become a great tool for subject as books are for children. Personally, I think the more time children spend on station is the less time they get for studying from books and thus impact the quality of their research
These days, watching television is
undeniably
one of the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
hobbies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
strongly
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can never
be replaced
by TV set as a means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
gadget

I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the station is more for entertainment, not for training purposes. I will support my opinion with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
examples


Firstly
, owing to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
misuse television in the disappearance of parents
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
programs are less attractive compared the cartoon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that every child prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
which are appealing to the senses.

Another reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
box is not as suitable as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can research as long as they want with full attention and without any detrimental effect on their physique.
On the other hand
, watching the broadcast For a long time has a terrible impact on their physical development. Taken a recent research has reported that more than 70 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go for cartoons and animated game series remaining absent-minded towards their studies.

I
strongly
believe that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn through the box, then their focus will be on audio-visual presentation, not in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
What is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
they develop focus on lessons it offers.
On the other hand
the inclusion of projects and LEDs while teaching can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a fun activity
However
; it is a too expensive process to afford by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from lower-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families.

In Conclusion
, although television set is more entertaining than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, it cannot become a great tool for subject as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are for children.

Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the more time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend on station is the less time they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
for studying from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and
thus
impact the quality of their research
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 25

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts