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Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasing common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v.1

An increasing amount of population is being suffering from diseases caused by stress. This essay will describe how over-time work and financial instabilities can cause tremendous pressure on a person. This essay will also suggest few solutions to address these issues such as prioritizing tasks at work and tracking personal expenses. Working late hours at office and lack of control over financials are primary reasons for stress related illnesses. The growing urge among employees to step-up professionally has been the motive to work harder and deliver higher than the expectations. For instance, a recent survey by Forbes revealed that more than 50% employees feel depressed due to poor work-life balance. In addition, a rise in desire to live luxuriously has boosted the overall expenses of people, thus dragging them into financial troubles. Therefore, having a meaningful work-life balance and stable cash flow are necessary to avoid unnecessary tensions. Finding the right work-life balance and monitoring the spendings are promising solutions to reduce stress related illnesses. Dedicating enough hours to spend time with family and friends can relieve and disconnect the person from work related stresses. Many reports claim that, a well-spend time with dear ones shall refresh the mind. Further, maintaining a simple note of daily expenditure can help you analyze proportions of money spent for various needs. Many financial experts advice the same to improve overall savings and attain peace of mind. It can be concluded that stress related illnesses can be eradicated by implementing these solutions. In conclusion, Stress related diseases has been increasingly common in the modern era. So far, the passages have described about 2 common causes of stress and their respective solutions to negate stress levels.
An increasing amount of population is being suffering from diseases caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
how over-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
instabilities can cause tremendous pressure on a person. This essay will
also
suggest few solutions to address these issues such as prioritizing tasks at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and tracking personal expenses.

Working late hours at office and lack of control over financials are primary reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
illnesses. The growing urge among employees to step-up
professionally
has been the motive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder and deliver higher than the expectations.
For instance
, a recent survey by Forbes revealed that more than 50% employees feel depressed due to poor work-life balance.
In addition
, a rise in desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
luxuriously
has boosted the
overall
expenses of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
thus
dragging them into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
troubles.
Therefore
, having a meaningful work-life balance and stable cash flow are necessary to avoid unnecessary tensions.

Finding the right work-life balance and monitoring the
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings
are promising solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
illnesses. Dedicating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
hours to spend time with family and friends can relieve and disconnect the person from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stresses
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
reports claim that, a well-spend time with dear ones shall refresh the mind.
Further
, maintaining a simple note of daily expenditure can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you analyze proportions of money spent for various needs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
An apostrophe may be missing.
experts
advice the same to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
overall
savings and attain peace of mind. It can
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
illnesses can
be eradicated
by implementing these solutions.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
diseases has been
increasingly
common in the modern era.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
far, the passages have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
about 2 common causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and their respective solutions to negate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
levels.
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IELTS essay Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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