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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.11

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 11
Today the world is more connected than any time before and people from all over the countries can arrive at their destination within 24 hours. However, while this possibility permits for millions of individuals to encounter different cultures every year, the phenomenon of the international tourism brings also conflicts between people with different habits and customs. To begin, tourism creates isolation more than integration. In fact, tourists prefer to look at different places, costumes and habits like sitting in front of the television screen, watching a documentary, more than sharing time with the indigenous population. Furthermore, tourists don't respect foreign habits and cultures, often because they don't understand it. For example, they throw the litter on the ground, or even worse, they don't respect their hosts’ religion. Nevertheless, the effects of international tourism are not all negative. Sometimes tourists fall in love with people and places they visit and decide to live in there, acting as mediators between cultures and enhancing integration. It's the case of lots of tourist guides that decided to move abroad and enjoy a different lifestyle and culture, trying to share their feelings with visitors. Also speaking the language of the place we visit can help us understand people from different cultures. In addition, a large amount of money around the tourism business contrasts the tendency of some countries to close their border to foreign people. This can lead to a better comprehension of these cultures and so to integration. In conclusion, the biggest industry in the world have to feel the need of changes in the way tourism is structured, so it could become a mean of integration and reciprocal understanding more than create tensions between cultures.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
the world is more connected than any time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the countries can arrive at their destination within 24 hours.
However
, while this possibility permits for millions of individuals to encounter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
every year, the phenomenon of the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
brings
also
conflicts between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
habits and customs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
creates isolation more than integration. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
prefer to look at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
places, costumes and habits like sitting in front of the television screen, watching a documentary, more than sharing time with the indigenous population.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
don't respect foreign habits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don't understand it.
For example
, they throw the litter on the ground, or even worse, they don't respect their hosts’ religion.

Nevertheless
, the effects of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
are not all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
fall in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and places they visit and decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in there, acting as mediators between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and enhancing integration. It's the case of lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
guides that decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
abroad and enjoy a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
lifestyle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, trying to share their feelings with visitors.
Also
speaking the language of the place we visit can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures.

In addition
, a large amount of money around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
business contrasts the tendency of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries to close their border to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This can lead to a better comprehension of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to integration.

In conclusion
, the biggest industry in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
feel the need of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is structured
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it could become a mean of integration and reciprocal understanding more than create tensions between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 11

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
282 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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