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Nowadays, food travels thousands of miles from the farm to the consumer. It is a positive or a negative development? v.1

Nowadays, food travels thousands of miles from the farm to the consumer. It is a positive or a negative development? v. 1
Technology innovation is skyrocketing around the world, which makes day-to-day human activities easier as compare to past. In the plethora of technology invention, the computer and mobile phone are one of the best and the successful machine of innovation, where humans can perform more than one action simultaneously with less time taken. I agree that with the help these gadgets the letter-writing, a past activity, is replaced to mail writing with more pros. Firstly, when the electronic components were developed, humans were curious to use them. For example, humans started to use the calculator in phones and computers instead of using a real calculator, and this makes to reduce the sale and usage of the calculator in a day-to-day activity. The people started to forget the outdated product and move to the new product if it is more comfortable and easy to work. Likewise, the letter writing has diminished because of the evolution of E-mail and short-note application through cell phone and computer, but begin to use them to know how its work, latter the features attracted the people and started to fall in the hands of technology. Secondly, the expense to write a letter to others is higher when compared to send a message or mail through the electronic device. For instance, each letter would sent through the post office department, and charges will be applied to every letter depends upon the location it reaches. However, in electronic gadgets, only once the amount will be spent on buying the product, after that any number of writing can be sent without any charges to anyone through the internet or telecommunication. In addition, the time consuming to send the script information has less time on the computer or mobile phone. To conclude, the letter-writing was a useful method in ancient days to send and receive information. While, the technological invention like the computer, mobile phone has made great changes in the world trend by adding more features and consume less time.
Technology innovation is skyrocketing around the world, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
day-to-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities easier
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compare to past. In the plethora of technology invention, the computer and mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
are one of the best and the successful machine of innovation, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
can perform more than one action
simultaneously
with less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
taken. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these gadgets the letter-writing, a past activity,
is replaced
to mail writing with more pros.

Firstly
, when the electronic components
were developed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
were curious to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the calculator in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and computers
instead
of using a real calculator, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the sale and usage of the calculator in a day-to-day activity. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to forget the outdated product and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the new product if it is more comfortable and easy to work.
Likewise
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
writing has diminished
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the evolution of E-mail and short-note application
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and computer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them to know how its work, latter the features attracted the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to fall in the hands of technology.

Secondly
, the expense to write a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
to others is higher when compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a message or mail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the electronic device.
For instance
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "send"
sent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the post office department, and charges will
be applied
to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
depends upon the location it reaches.
However
, in electronic gadgets,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
once the amount will
be spent
on buying the product, after that any number of writing can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
without any charges to anyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the internet or telecommunication.
In addition
, the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the script information has less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the computer or mobile phone.

To conclude
, the letter-writing was a useful method in ancient days to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
and receive information. While, the technological invention like the computer, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has made great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the world trend by adding more features and consume less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, food travels thousands of miles from the farm to the consumer. It is a positive or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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