Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this Explain the reasons for this and discuss any possible effects it may have on society v.2

Nowadays families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this Explain the reasons for this and discuss any possible effects it may have on society v. 2
In recent time families are not as close as they used to be. The reasons for this could be the increased competition and technological advancement. People are busy with other aspects of life and they do not have enough time to nurture their relationships with their family members. These could result in increased stress and frustration, as well as serious psychological disorders. Family is the building block of a society, where members of a family used to act as a single unit in the society. However, the distance among families are increasing day by day. And we can hold the blame for the changing social structure and system. Nowadays the world is much more competitive and people are simply too busy to spend quality time with their families. This leads to the prospect of growing distance among them. And people are getting used to it, mainly because of the recent technological advancements, which allow them to resort to a whole new world. They are interacting with people on the other side of the world that hinders their realization of the distance from their families. Everyone lives in his/her own social bubble, which often excludes family. Although not readily visible, the lack of closeness in families can lead to so many negative consequences. Human beings are evolved to be in a family. So any violation of that is going to have devastating effects. It can cause increased tension and frustration, which sometimes even lead to mental illness. And if it continues, at a point the whole social structure will collapse. After saying all this, due to the changes in the structure of our world and social values, families are getting more distant. And this may be the reason for the destruction of our society.
In recent time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not as close as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be. The reasons for this could be the increased competition and technological advancement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are busy with other aspects of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to nurture their relationships with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. These could result in increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and frustration,
as well
as serious psychological disorders.

Family is the building block of a society, where members of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to act as a single unit in the society.
However
, the distance among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are increasing day by day. And we can hold the blame for the changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
structure and system. Nowadays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is much more competitive and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
simply
too busy to spend quality time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. This leads to the prospect of growing distance among them. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to it,
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the recent technological advancements, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to resort to a whole new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. They are interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the other side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that hinders their realization of the distance from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in his/her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
bubble, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
excludes family.

Although not
readily
visible, the lack of closeness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. Human beings
are evolved
to be in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
any violation of
that is
going to have devastating effects. It can cause increased tension and frustration, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even lead to mental illness. And if it continues, at a point the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
structure will collapse.

After saying all this, due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the structure of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are getting more distant. And this may be the reason for the destruction of our society.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this Explain the reasons for this and discuss any possible effects it may have on society v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts