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Which do you think is better for the environment, to build fewer factories or to create more wildlife preservation areas? v.1

Which do you think is better for the environment, to build fewer factories or to create more wildlife preservation areas? v. 1
Toay' s modern contemprary world requires large number of machines, factories, mills, power plants to fulfill aspirations of people with never ending desires. Very few people can think of ending their extravagant lifestyle, hence I believe that curtailing number of estlablished factories is not prudent option, instead planning wild life sancturies is logical solution to save large number of species of fauna. I would like to throw light on my opinion in the following essays: To begin with, reducing number of factories linked with giving up privileges to live a comfortable life. Whole world is facing the problem of exploding population, even with natural calamities such as hurricane, tornadoes and earthquake the population density is consistent. Due to the fact that educated people are better equipped to use technology to enhance their wellbeing. In order to satisfy desires and basic necessities of human beings it is imperative to construct factories to form goods such as clothes, food products, and other commodities. Similarly, the rate of employment might rise as factories provide job to large number of people living in suburbans. However, to reduce negative consequences of smoke on the habitat of animals; location of factories should be chosen wisely and stringent measures should be imposed on owners to reduce air and water pollution. Another reason that deserves attention is, separate habitat for wild life might eliminate pollution of air, land, water and other human that threatens the population of wild life. In fact some people are fond of hunting rare species resulting in complete depletion of that particular species, thus disturbing the balance in ecosystem. Life of species in different ecosystem is interlinked, if prey dies out then the number of predators might collapse due to lack of adequate resources of food. For instance, number of cat and mice will be intrigued if either one species become extinct. To alleviate these issues steps should be undertaken by regional environmental department to build homes for animals and hire volunteers to expediate this philanthropic task. In addition, enough land on this planet is available to create habitat suitable for the wild life where the can live peacefully without intrigued by human activity; eliminating need to destroy the factories. As a consequence, wild life sanctuaries are imperative to deter large number of species from extinction and give opportunity for environmentalist to perform research and development. To sum up, opening up chains of sanctuaries across the globe couple with myriad benefits for animals such as maintaining number of species, breeding and research and development to preserve species.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Toay&
#039; s modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
contemprary
world requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of machines,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
, mills, power plants to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
fulfill
aspirations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with never ending desires.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
few
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
people


can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of ending their extravagant lifestyle,
hence
I believe that curtailing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of

Possible spelling mistake found.
estlablished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
is not prudent option,
instead
planning wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Possible spelling mistake found.
sancturies
is logical solution

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of species of fauna. I would like to throw light on my
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
opinion


in the following essays:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
linked with giving up privileges to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable life.

Whole world is facing the problem of exploding population, even with natural calamities such as hurricane, tornadoes and earthquake the population density is consistent. Due to the fact that educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are better equipped to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology to enhance their
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
. In order to satisfy desires and
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of human beings it is imperative to construct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
to form
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
such as clothes, food products, and other commodities.
Similarly
, the rate of employment might rise as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
provide job to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in suburbans.
However
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of smoke on the habitat of animals; location of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
should
be chosen
wisely
and stringent measures should
be imposed
on owners to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
air and water pollution.

Another reason that deserves attention is, separate habitat for wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
might eliminate pollution of air, land, water and other human that threatens the population of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In fact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are fond of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
hunting


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
rare
species resulting in complete depletion of that particular species,
thus
disturbing the balance in ecosystem.

Life of species in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ecosystem
is interlinked
, if prey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dies
out then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of predators might collapse due to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lack
of adequate resources of food.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cat and mice will
be intrigued
if either one species become extinct. To alleviate these issues steps should be undertaken by regional environmental department to build homes for animals and hire volunteers to
Possible spelling mistake found.
expediate
this philanthropic task.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
land on this planet is available to create habitat suitable for the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
where the can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
peacefully
without intrigued by human activity; eliminating need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
. As a consequence, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
sanctuaries are imperative to deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of species from extinction and give opportunity for environmentalist to perform research and development.

To sum up, opening up chains of sanctuaries across the globe couple with myriad benefits for animals such

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of species, breeding and research and development to preserve species.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS essay Which do you think is better for the environment, to build fewer factories or to create more wildlife preservation areas? v. 1

Essay
  American English
14 paragraphs
423 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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