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Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Explain the reasons for this and discuss any possible effects it may have on society. v.1

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Explain the reasons for this and discuss any possible effects it may have on society. v. 1
A healthy relationship among families plays a key role in society. When compared to the past, the families are not close to each other in modern times and people are accustomed to this phenomenon. This essay will discuss both the reasons behind such development and its effects on society. There are multiple reasons why the families are not as close nowadays as they used to be earlier. Firstly, the modern world is all about overwhelming competitiveness, people should be in a constant race in achieving goals and securing personal interests. In this process, members of the close families are living in different parts of the country, sometimes even in different parts of the world. Therefore, it is too difficult for people to be in touch regularly. Furthermore, people do not have time to spend with near families as they are very busy at work. Even when they get free time, they prefer to stay in their homes and devote time to their family members. Reduced closeness has both positive and negative effects on society. The worst effect of this development is the lack of support from near and dear when needed. Humans are highly social and it is important for families to maintain a good relationship with close families because when they need social, financial or moral support, they rely on. For example, when there is a wedding in a family it is the closer families who come forward to offer help in organizing the event. On the other hand, when the families have distance among them, there is less probability for any friction between them which in turn results in a peaceful society. In conclusion, it is true that families are as close as in the past which has both positive and negative effects on society. This phenomenon is mainly attributed to the fact that the families are living far from one another who are busy working than social connections.
A healthy relationship among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
plays a key role in society. When compared to the past, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
to each other in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are accustomed
to this phenomenon. This essay will discuss both the reasons behind such development and its effects on society.

There are multiple reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
nowadays as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be earlier.
Firstly
, the modern world is all about overwhelming competitiveness,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be in a constant race in achieving goals and securing personal interests. In this process, members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the country,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world.
Therefore
, it is too difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be in touch
regularly
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
as they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy at work. Even when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they prefer to stay in their homes and devote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Reduced
closeness has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on society. The worst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of this development is the lack of support from near and dear when needed. Humans are
highly
social and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when they need social, financial or moral support, they rely on.
For example
, when there is a wedding in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
it is the closer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to offer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in organizing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
On the other hand
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have distance among them, there is less probability for any friction between them which in turn results in a peaceful society.

In conclusion
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
as in the past which has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on society. This phenomenon is
mainly
attributed to the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are living far from one another who are busy
Use "worker" to make a comparison with this adjective.
working
than social connections.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Explain the reasons for this and discuss any possible effects it may have on society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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