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Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.6

Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 6
In modern days, the consumer goods play a vital role in the peoples lives. In this essay shed some light on the pros and cons regarding final products, then followed by my own opinion. On one hand, ends products are key markers of any civilization. First of all, these involve in enhancing the standards of quality of living and technology, global scale access. For instant, consider a mobile it helps us to interact globally and socially. These helps for an individual to seek knowledge from an open source media, stay updated with progressing international evolution in technologies and development. Secondly, they help in the effective management of time. To illustrate, consider a trucks it helps us to reach out far posts with ease. The mobility of plethora products and peoples in limited period of time. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of people relying on end goods on a day-to-day basis. These may lead people to resort to alternate plan instead arduous tasks. They may become addicted to reliable resources. The people may purchase extravagantly to make themselves ostentatious in the society. For an instant, buying first edition cars and other modern equipments like refrigerators, 3D flat-screen television on the instalment basis. The person can ultimately bankrupt, incline to sale asserts overcome debuts. Consequently, a person will lose frugality and societies may become dysfunctional. In conclusion, I firmly agree that the merits of a final product on people’s daily lives outweigh the drawbacks; consumer goods can save a person’s time and enable easier communication with other people.
In modern days, the consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
play a vital role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In this essay shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the pros and cons regarding final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, then followed by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

On one hand, ends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are key markers of any civilization.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, these involve in enhancing the standards of quality of living and technology, global scale access. For instant, consider a mobile it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to interact globally and
socially
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
for an individual to seek knowledge from an open source media, stay updated with progressing international evolution in technologies and development.
Secondly
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in the effective management of time. To illustrate, consider a trucks it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to reach out far posts with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
. The mobility of plethora
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
in limited period of time.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relying on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
on a day-to-day basis. These may lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to resort to alternate plan
instead
arduous tasks. They may become addicted to reliable resources. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
extravagantly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves ostentatious in the society. For an instant, buying
first
edition cars and other modern equipments like refrigerators, 3D flat-screen television on the
Possible spelling mistake. 'instalment' is British English.
instalment
basis. The person can
ultimately
bankrupt, incline to sale asserts overcome debuts.
Consequently
, a person will lose frugality and societies may become dysfunctional.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the merits of a final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
outweigh the drawbacks; consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
can save a person’s time and enable easier communication with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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