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Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
This essay is about the consumer goods and how it becomes an essential part in professional and general life. In this essay we will argue about the both elements, to what extent we are agreed of disagreeing. In other worlds, life has completely changed since last two decades, such as we got many facilities in technologies like transportation, mobile phones, internet, tablets and many more products in our lives. Moreover, it reduces the distance between the families through the electronic devices, as in the old ages, we use to have a landline phone and letter facility to communicate with our loved ones. But now we have multiple media for communication likewise internet is the most popular medium for voice and video calling, despite from this, we could use different computer and mobile application for chit chat and text messaging with anyone around the globe. Hence, now a day’s we don't depend on anyone in the middle to initiate our calling session for a specific limited time as it was in the past when there were no further technology mediums like internet and mobile calling. Particularly todays life is more luxuriant with many facilities. Apart from the advantages it has also a negative impact on our lives, for example, in families while sitting together in group of peoples, they mostly don’t talk to each other, we could observe them’ mostly they are busy in their own mobile and other gadgets instead of talking to each other. In conclusion, I would say that, somehow i, am agreeing, the consumer goods have its own benefits and some side effects on everyone’s life, it just depends on the usage. In uses it has a lot more options to get benefit from it, especially internet’ its now a significant part of everyone's routine. However, reading as a regular daytime activity should be swapped for something which allows the child to develop other skills.
This essay is about the consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and how it becomes an essential part in professional and general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In this essay we will argue about the both elements, to what extent we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
of disagreeing.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
worlds,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
since last two decades, such as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities in technologies like transportation, mobile phones, internet, tablets and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more products in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the distance between the families through the electronic devices, as in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ages, we
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
have a landline phone and letter facility to communicate with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we have multiple media for communication
likewise
internet is the most popular medium for voice and video calling, despite from this, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
computer and mobile application for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
chit chat
and text messaging with anyone around the globe.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a day’s we don't depend on anyone in the middle to initiate our calling session for a specific limited time as it was in the past when there were no
further
technology mediums like internet and mobile calling.
Particularly
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is more luxuriant with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities. Apart from the advantages it has
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
for example
, in families while sitting together in group of peoples, they
mostly
don’t talk to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, we could observe them’
mostly
they are busy in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mobile and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
gadgets
instead
of talking to each other.

In conclusion
, I would say that, somehow i,
The verb 'agreeing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
am agreeing
, the consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
side effects on everyone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
depends on the usage. In
The comma is probably missing here: "uses, it".
uses it
has a lot more options to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefit from it,
especially
internet’ its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a significant part of everyone's routine.
However
, reading as a regular daytime activity should
be swapped
for something which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the child to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
318 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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