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Nowadays,people live in the society where consumer goods are cheaper than to buy .Do you think its advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4
Today, there are some people who live in country where all types of products are cheaper to buy. Of course, this condition has a disadvantages and advantages sides. So I think that, the cons of this phenomenon outweight the pros. I am going to support my choice and give some relevant examples based on my own knowledge. Nowadays, all things are modernized and this condition affects to the price of goods. There are positive sides of this. Many citizens who live in the society where some type of products are cheaper. It can create equally environment among public people. Taking one example to my opinion all people can buy different goods which they use in their daily life such as healthy products and some medicines and other things which all people need to buy. Moreover, whole markets and shops is fulled by various and cheap products. On the other hand, there are two sides of every coins there are bad side of them. May be it affect to environment and healthy lifestyle. Because if all people consume cheap things the quantity health public will decrease and some people who have overweight their number are increasing more and more. Moreover, I think it will be reason for environmental pollution. Because the more people buy cheap goods the more they tend to through the rubbish. And this pollution affects to the health and different diseases depend on air such as asthma. In conclusion, I can say without any hesitation the disadvantages of cheap goods outweighs advantages.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in country where all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are cheaper to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
.
Of course
, this condition has a disadvantages and advantages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, the cons of this phenomenon
Possible spelling mistake found.
outweight
the pros. I am going to support my choice and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant examples based on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
knowledge. Nowadays, all things
are modernized
and this condition affects to the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
of this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
citizens who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the society where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are cheaper. It can create
equally
environment among public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Taking one example to my opinion all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in their daily life such as healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medicines and other things which all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
.
Moreover
, whole markets and shops
is fulled
by various and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
On the other hand
, there are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
of every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "coin"?
coins
there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
side of them.
Did you mean "maybe" (= perhaps)?
May be
it affect to environment and healthy lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheap
things the quantity health public will decrease and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have overweight their number are increasing more and more.
Moreover
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will be reason for environmental pollution.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
the more they tend to through the rubbish. And this pollution affects to the health and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases depend on air such as asthma.
In conclusion
, I can say without any hesitation the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
outweighs advantages.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people live in the society where consumer goods are cheaper than to buy. Do you think its advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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