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Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.12

Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 12
Consumerism is now a world-wide phenomenon. We can find both online and offline stores filled with fast moving products of all kinds. From the looks of it, therefore, consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Hence, It is imperative to examine whether this trend is advantageous or not to the common man. The single most important advantage of having a product for your every need, is its easy availability at your local retail store or even on your favourite online store. Both of these are usually one-stop shops from which you can purchase everything that you need - from your most sought after brand of cereal to the trendiest gadget. Evidently, then, you don’t have to buy from the producer directly, which also means that you can find goods which could have been produced in another city or even country. Low prices and convenient packaging are two other advantages that add to the experience of convenience and quick access, which is the hallmark of this trend. In contrast, the corresponding disadvantage has to do with the nature of packaging of these goods. They are made of plastic or plastic derivatives, which are discarded once the contents have been used. The magnitude of goods being bought, generates insane amounts of plastic refuse, which then accumulates in large numbers that poses disposal problems, turning it into an environmental hazard. Add to this the disadvantages of chemical preservatives and aggressive advertising and you have a perfect concoction for impending problems for the buyer. The awareness of these disadvantages however, has made the end-user choosy. Although it hasn’t stopped him from buying, it has made him more discerning. When you weigh the advantages against the disadvantages of consumer goods and their importance in people’s lives, it is evident that they far outweigh the disadvantages. These goods will continue to have an increasingly important place in people’s lives. I predict that producers will innovate further and begin to appeal to the finer sensibilities of their customers so that they can take advantage of the expanding market in this sector.
Consumerism is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a world-wide phenomenon. We can find both online and offline stores filled with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
moving products of all kinds. From the looks of it,
therefore
, consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
have become the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Hence
, It is imperative to examine whether this trend is advantageous or not to the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.

The single most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of having a product for your every need, is its easy availability at your local retail store or even on your
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
online store. Both of these are
usually
one-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
shops from which you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
everything that you need
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
from your most sought after brand of cereal to the trendiest gadget.
Evidently
, then, you don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from the producer
directly
, which
also
means that you can find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
which could have
been produced
in another city or even country. Low prices and convenient packaging are two other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the experience of convenience and quick access, which is the hallmark of this trend.

In contrast
, the corresponding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do with the nature of packaging of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. They
are made
of plastic or plastic derivatives, which
are discarded
once the contents have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. The magnitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
, generates insane amounts of plastic refuse, which then accumulates in large numbers that poses disposal problems, turning it into an environmental hazard.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Add
to this the disadvantages of chemical preservatives and aggressive advertising and you have a perfect concoction for impending problems for the buyer. The awareness of these disadvantages
however
, has made the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
-user choosy. Although it hasn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
him from buying, it has made him more discerning.

When you weigh the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
against the disadvantages of consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and their importance in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, it is evident that they far outweigh the disadvantages. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
will continue to have an
increasingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I predict that producers will innovate
further
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to appeal to the finer sensibilities of their customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of the expanding market in this sector.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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