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Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than subjects? v.5

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than subjects? v. 5
Art is a form of culture, creativity, and imagination of a person. It is a way in which a person expresses himself in the form drama or creating drawings, or sculptures. It is a very important part of society which cannot be neglected. This essay will discuss about the importance of art in children’s life and its importance in a form of subject in the society. Expressing our thoughts and our opinions can be easily shown in the form of art; especially for the introverts. The way a person imagines his life or his surroundings, art gives them a medium to express their true selves. This is the major reason children should be taught art in school. It helps them to show their creativity and showcase their hidden talent in front of the world. In my opinion, children should focus on their major subjects, but also, focus on their talent, and ideas to portray in the form of art. This helps a child to concentrate each & every important subject, as well as; helps them to boost their skills and polish it to make a huge impact in the society. Therefore, because of them, it will also reflect the culture of the surroundings. To conclude, art is a form of expression and thoughts which should never be taken lightly. Children should always be encouraged to show their talent and skills in the society. Also, with the other subjects in schools, the authorities should help such kids to come out and give their talent a bigger platform to perform.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of culture, creativity, and imagination of a person. It is a way in which a person expresses himself in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
drama or creating drawings, or sculptures. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of society which cannot
be neglected
. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
life and its importance in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in the society.

Expressing our thoughts and our opinions can be
easily
shown in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
;
especially
for the introverts. The way a person imagines his life or his surroundings,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
gives them a medium to express their true selves. This is the major reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in school. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their creativity and showcase their hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in front of the world.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should focus on their major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to portray in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
a child to concentrate each & every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
,
as well
as;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to boost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and polish it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge impact in the society.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of them, it will
also
reflect the culture of the surroundings.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of expression and thoughts which should never
be taken
lightly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should always
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in the society.
Also
, with the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in schools, the authorities should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
such kids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out and give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
a bigger platform to perform.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than subjects? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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