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Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.11

Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 11
Consumer goods are so convenient and easily available that they are here to stay. Yet, there has been a constant debate on their harmfulness on some aspects between producers and critics of these goods. Usually the criticism is about the manner in which they are made available to the end-user. Some of the advantages of fast-moving goods have to do with their pricing, availability and packaging. These products are reasonably priced, so it’s easy to buy them in bulk and stock-up. They are conveniently available in your local retail store. These retail stores are usually one-stop shops from which you can purchase everything that you need for the month. Evidently, then, you don’t have to buy from the producer directly, which also means that you can find goods which could have been produced in another city or even country. These goods are safely and conveniently packaged. The packaging keeps the item from spoiling, contamination and being attacked by bugs. The portions are optimal for weekly or monthly consumption, in storage friendly packaging. Consequently, you don’t have to open a big bag of product and then worry about storing the contents of the now open bag. The disadvantages have to do with added preservatives, single use packaging and misleading advertising among others. Adding chemical preservatives to increase the shelf life of the product, has the side-effect of being harmful to the body of the customer, which compounds over the long-term. As regards packaging, most packets are made of plastic or plastic derivatives, which are discarded once they are empty. Such plastic refuse accumulate in large numbers and pose disposal problems, which in turn poses a pollution hazard. Advertising these products is aimed at creating a need where there is none. Hence the content of advertisements is aimed at emotions rather than providing full or useful information on the product. When you weigh the disadvantages against the advantages of consumer goods and their importance in people’s lives, it is evident that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. All the advantages mentioned here have to do with the convenience to the user. The disadvantages in contrast, cause or will cause the buyer inconvenience and harm him in the long run. However the situation can be alleviated with some creativity, innovation and methods of full disclosure, enabling customers to exercise their right to choose and buy with discernment and without harm to themselves. Considering that convenience to the customer is of prime importance, producers will do well to innovate in the areas of using neutral preservatives, providing multi-use packaging and full product information. It will certainly help them stay in the ever-expanding market of consumer goods. The customer is king and his needs and wants will drive his purchasing behaviour, and these products have raised his expectations of what is possible. The critics lobby has served to inform him of his safety and his rights to demand a better deal, which ultimately will make the availability of the right kind of products even more important to him.
Consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
convenient and
easily
available that they are here to stay.
Yet
, there has been a constant debate on their harmfulness on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects between producers and critics of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
Usually
the criticism is about the manner in which they
are made
available to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
-user.

If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do with their pricing, availability and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
reasonably
priced,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it’s easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them in bulk and stock-up. They are
conveniently
available in your local retail store. These retail stores are
usually
one-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
shops from which you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
everything that you need for the month.
Evidently
, then, you don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from the producer
directly
, which
also
means that you can find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
which could have
been produced
in another city or even country. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are
safely
and
conveniently
packaged. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the item from spoiling, contamination and
being attacked
by bugs. The portions are optimal for weekly or monthly consumption, in storage friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
.
Consequently
, you don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
open a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
bag of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and then worry about storing the contents of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
open bag.

The disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
preservatives, single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
and misleading advertising among others. Adding chemical preservatives to increase the shelf life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, has the
Did you mean "side effect" (=adverse effect, unintended consequence)? Open compounds are not hyphenated.
side-effect
of being harmful to the body of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
, which compounds over the long-term. As regards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
, most packets
are made
of plastic or plastic derivatives, which
are discarded
once they are empty. Such plastic refuse accumulate in large numbers and pose disposal problems, which in turn poses a pollution hazard. Advertising these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is aimed
at creating a need where there is none.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the content of advertisements
is aimed
at emotions
rather
than providing full or useful information on the product.

When you weigh the disadvantages against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and their importance in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, it is evident that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
far outweigh the disadvantages. All the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
mentioned here
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do with the convenience to the user. The disadvantages
in contrast
, cause or will cause the buyer inconvenience and harm him in the long run.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the situation can
be alleviated
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
creativity, innovation and methods of full disclosure, enabling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to exercise their right to choose and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
with discernment and without harm to themselves. Considering that convenience to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
is of prime importance, producers will do well to innovate in the areas of using neutral preservatives, providing multi-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
and full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
information. It will
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them stay in the ever-expanding market of consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
is king and his needs and wants will drive his purchasing
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have raised his expectations of what is possible. The critics lobby has served to inform him of his safety and his rights to demand a better deal, which
ultimately
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the availability of the right kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
even more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to him.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 11

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
503 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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