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Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people s lives do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages v.2

Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people s lives do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages v. 2
In this modern times consumer items have gained significant importance in our lives. I will shed some merits and demerits of this phenomenon and then give my opinion. On the one hand there are myriad benefits of people using consumer items. The main advantage is that these items save a person’s time. For instance, using computer to buy online things like household items like clothes, shoes etc. can save the person’s time. In addition computer gadgets have made communication easier and affordable between people. For example, a person can use a mobile phone for chatting and talking to another person wherever they are. They can keep in touch with their relatives and friends. Therefore consumers can get the benefits of these products. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of people relying on consumer goods. First of all, people use gadgets like tabs, laptop, mobile phones, smart watches etc. These items can so many problems in humans. For example, a person turns very lazy to do manual work and using cars instead of walking which can create health problems. Although it is understandable that these are essential commodities. In modern life it must not be forgotten that our lives are much more than consumer products
In this modern times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
have gained significant importance in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits and demerits of this phenomenon and then give my opinion.

On the one hand there are myriad benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. The main advantage is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
save a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
time.
For instance
, using computer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
online things like household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
like clothes, shoes etc. can save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
time. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
computer gadgets have made communication easier and affordable between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a mobile phone for chatting and talking to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
wherever they are. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their relatives and friends.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the benefits of these products.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
gadgets like tabs, laptop, mobile phones, smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
etc. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in humans.

For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
turns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lazy to do manual work and using cars
instead
of walking which can create health problems.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
it is understandable that these are essential commodities. In modern life it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be forgotten
that our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are much more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
products
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people s lives do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
205 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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