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Nowadays communicating with others is faster and easier thanks to technology like email cellular phones and beepers Has this change improved the way people live Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.1

Nowadays communicating with others is faster and easier thanks to technology like email cellular phones and beepers Has this change improved the way people live Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1
Prior to the nature of being a celebrity, it is often thought that famous people such as film stars experience more drawbacks than benefits I think being a celebrity attracts more benefits compared to any problem that might occur. This essay will discuss fame as a benefit and the drawbacks will be taken into account. Admittedly, there are some issues involved with being a famous star. One of the major problem is lack of privacy. They tend to have lots of followers who are eager to invade their personal life and an courage the media to publish it on the Internet especially the negative side. This sometimes causes problems and if not handled properly, it left them traumatized. For example, recently a musician in Nigeria was in discomfort when his failed marriage was all over the Internet and was tagged a violent man, which made him uncomfortable in relating to the public. Despite the minimal drawback above, I believe the benefits gained by being a celebrity are far more significant than the disadvantages. The major positive aspect of being a celebrity is fame. Fame opens the door of wealth, especially through endorsement which can also improve their career. For instance, a well known film star was endorsed by the international organic food in the U. S. A. , which has greatly influenced his five star restaurant in Nigeria by selling organic food products. To conclude, being a famous star brings more benefits such as fame, wealth and career opportunities compared to the minor drawback that could result from being a celebrity.
Prior to the nature of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
such as film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
experience more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawbacks
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
attracts more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
compared to any problem that might occur. This essay will discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawbacks
will
be taken
into account.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues involved with being a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
star. One of the major problem is lack of privacy. They tend to have lots of followers who are eager to invade their personal life and
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
courage the media to publish it on the Internet
especially
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
causes problems and if not handled
properly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
them traumatized.
For example
, recently a musician in Nigeria was in discomfort when his failed marriage was all over the Internet and
was tagged
a violent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, which made him uncomfortable in relating to the public.

Despite the minimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawback
above, I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
gained by being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
are far more significant than the disadvantages. The major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fame
opens the door of wealth,
especially
through endorsement which can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their career.
For instance
, a well known film star
was endorsed
by the international organic food in the U. S. A.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
which has
greatly
influenced his
'five star' is missing a hyphen.
five star
restaurant in Nigeria by selling organic food products.

To conclude
, being a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
star brings more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
, wealth and career opportunities compared to the minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawback
that could result from being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays communicating with others is faster and easier thanks to technology like email cellular phones and beepers Has this change improved the way people live Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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