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All school children should be given a free laptop when they start high school v.1

All school children should be given a free laptop when they start high school v. 1
It is recommended that a free laptop should be provided to all the children as they begin high school. The following essay agrees with this statement because using a laptop at high school encourages logical thinking and creativity. The skill to think logically is an essential talent in which computer programming can nurture. The computer programming will enable and/or provide the children the opportunity to use logic to put the steps in order, thereby improving their capabilities. Also, as the children begin to see why programming works, they begin to see how technology works. For example, when comparing the children high school that are exposed to computer programming with those that are not, it can be concluded that those children exposed to computer programming are enhanced to think logically than those that were not exposed to computer programming. Having a free laptop motivates the children to be creative in problem solving as well as accessing information online. Since being creative allows the children to see things differently, they can be able to develop a new different process that may enable them to solve problems. This might possibly lead them in finding the easiest way to solve problems rather than using the supposed long conventional approach. For instance, the children that have access to laptops have a greater chance of engaging in various online learning activities that aids in their education. In conclusion, the above essay agrees that a free laptop to children as they start high school is essential. The laptop permits them to develop their logical thinking through computer programming, and also allows them to be creative in learning efficient ways to resolve problems.
It
is recommended
that a free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
should
be provided
to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The following essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
encourages logical thinking and creativity.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
logically
is an essential talent in which computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
can nurture.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
will enable and/or provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
logic to put the steps in order, thereby improving their capabilities.
Also
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
works, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how technology works.
For example
, when comparing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
that
are exposed
to computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
with those that are not, it can
be concluded
that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
exposed to computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
are enhanced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Use "(logically)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
logically
than those that were not exposed to computer programming.

Having a free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
motivates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be creative in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
solving
as well
as accessing information online. Since being creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
things
differently
, they can be able to develop a new
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
process that may enable them to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. This might
possibly
lead them in finding the easiest way to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
rather
than using the supposed long conventional approach.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that have access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptops
have a greater chance of engaging in various online learning activities that aids in their education.

In conclusion
, the above essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that a free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is essential. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
permits them to develop their logical thinking through computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to be creative in learning efficient ways to resolve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay All school children should be given a free laptop when they start high school v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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