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Nowadays, children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smartphone, video games for fun and entertainment; playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for the children's development. v.1

Nowadays, children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smartphone, video games for fun and entertainment; playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for the children's development. v. 1
In the past, the exterior of buildings and cities depended on social culture, which varied according to society, but now this trend has changed, so cities and buildings have become more similar around the world. Obviously, there are several factors. In my humble opinion, the shortcomings of this trend outweigh its benefits. The main reason for the globalization of our world is started to increase the similarity between buildings. Since the 1990s, the relationship between people and society has increased significantly. As a result, social culture began to spread steadily throughout the world. Society borrows new aspects of culture from other sources. Therefore, people's attitude towards design becomes equal. This is why so very alike are many buildings or cities that look. In addition, if you went to a relatively large international airport in each country, people would find that the design is very similar. This is not just globalization, it plus prevents people from getting lost. Despite being similar, unfortunately, it has a negative impact on culture and the identity of the country. First and foremost, they gradually lost their identity. For instance, people are keen to visit places in the world and sit in one of the places that illustrate the cultural characteristics of Aboriginal people. So if they toured places like their hometown, they would not find a difference. Furthermore, removing old cities, historic buildings, and rebuilding new modern buildings, like other constructions around the world, could lead to the loss of our historical heritage. Overall, the attitude towards designing buildings and cities has changed compared to the past. Therefore, the government should strive to maintain a balance between previous and modern attitudes.
In the past, the exterior of
buildings
and
cities
depended on social
culture
, which varied according to society,
but
now
this trend has
changed
,
so
cities
and
buildings
have become more similar around the
world
.
Obviously
, there are several factors. In my humble opinion, the shortcomings of this trend outweigh its benefits.

The main reason for the globalization of our
world
is
started
to increase the similarity between
buildings
. Since the 1990s, the relationship between
people
and society has increased
significantly
.
As a result
, social
culture
began to spread
steadily
throughout the
world
. Society borrows new aspects of
culture
from other sources.
Therefore
,
people
's attitude towards design becomes equal. This is why
so
very
alike are
many
buildings
or
cities
that look.
In addition
, if you went to a
relatively
large international airport in each country,
people
would find that the design is
very
similar. This is not
just
globalization,
it plus
prevents
people
from getting lost.

Despite being similar, unfortunately, it has a
negative
impact on
culture
and the identity of the country.
First
and foremost, they
gradually
lost their identity.
For instance
,
people
are keen to visit places in the
world
and sit in one of the places that illustrate the cultural characteristics of Aboriginal
people
.
So
if they toured places like their hometown, they would not find a difference.
Furthermore
, removing
old
cities
, historic
buildings
, and rebuilding new modern
buildings
, like other constructions around the
world
, could lead to the loss of our historical heritage.

Overall
, the attitude towards designing
buildings
and
cities
has
changed
compared to the past.
Therefore
, the
government
should strive to maintain a balance between previous and modern attitudes.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smartphone, video games for fun and entertainment; playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for the children's development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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