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Computer games is very popular in all ages and nations. Parent think it has little educational value and more harmful effects. What is your opinion about this. Give example based on your own experience. v.1

Computer games is very popular in all ages and nations. Parent think it has little educational value and more harmful effects. What is your opinion about this. Give example based on your own experience. v. 1
Computer is not invented only for storing data or for work, it is also issued for playing and enjoying your free time, for all ages. Some parents think that video games have few educational values, others believe the opposite and has negative impacts. On one hand, computer games can help children in many levels of education, that’s why some parents think it has educational value. First, educational games will help kids improve their knowledge and assist them in their studies, since such games can teach them how to read, pronounce, even by competing each other through online competitions. Second, computer games that need to concentrate and brainstorming such as chess or knowledge information games, this type will aid them to know as much information as they can and how to plan or schedule their life. For example, when I was a kid my parents brought for my sister and I, a language game, which helped us to know new words and improve our language skills, through challenging each other’s. In my opinion, I think that such computer games are important in helping kids to improve their skills and be brave during their studies. On the other hand, a group of people believe that computer games may ruin some kids’ life and leads to waste of time and harmful effects. First, kids spend hours playing games on the computer, waster their time and stay awake all night to reach or finish a level of a game; parents aren’t following up by checking what they are doing. Second, some games impress the user negatively, especially game characters where the children start to act and talk the same, even he will be influenced by what the personage is doing, like killing, shooting and this will destroy several kids' lives. For example, Superman game or Batman, those games encourage the one to act like them, where many try to be this character and harm themselves by fight with other people. From my side, I think that some games build violence and turn the children to a bad guy. As a conclusion, computer games are helpful educationally for some parents; while others think it has negative effects on their way of living. In my opinion, parents should know what games their children are playing and encourage them to play games that improve their knowledge and IQ.
Computer is not invented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for storing data or for work, it is
also
issued for playing and enjoying your free time, for all ages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have few educational values, others believe the opposite and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.

On one hand, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
levels of education, that’s why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it has educational value.
First
, educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their knowledge and assist them in their studies, since such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can teach them how to read, pronounce, even by competing each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
through online competitions. Second, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that need to concentrate and brainstorming such as chess or knowledge information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, this type will aid them to know as much information as they can and how to plan or schedule their life.
For example
, when I was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
brought for my sister and I, a language game, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us to know new words and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
our language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, through challenging each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
. In my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that such computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and be brave during their studies.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
may ruin
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids’
life and leads to waste of time and harmful effects.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
spend hours playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on the computer, waster their time and stay awake all night to reach or finish a level of a game;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
aren’t following up by checking what they are doing. Second,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
impress the user
negatively
,
especially
game characters where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to act and talk the same, even he will
be influenced
by what the personage is doing, like killing, shooting and this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
several kids'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, Superman game or Batman, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
encourage the one to act like them, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
try to be this character and harm themselves by fight with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. From my side, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
build violence and turn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
guy.

As a conclusion, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are helpful
educationally
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
; while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on their way of living. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should know what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are playing and encourage them to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their knowledge and IQ.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Computer games is very popular in all ages and nations. Parent think it has little educational value and more harmful effects. What is your opinion about this. Give example based on your own experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
391 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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