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Nowadays children have too much freedom, some people say. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give your opinion with examples. v.1

Nowadays children have too much freedom, some people say. Give your opinion with examples. v. 1
Parents, teachers and babysitters may argue that children are given countless space and time to choose whatever they feel like to try most of the time. From my standpoint, I find this view false in many ways and I am strongly against this. In the following, this essay will analyse children’s eligibility of having well enough freedom and demonstrate how parental guidance affected children. To begin with, there is ample evidence that the younger generation are entailed to have an enormous amount of present and free will to explore the world, so exemption have been never too much to children. This is largely because each child is unique and develops at their own pace, which means that they are allowed to mentally prepare themselves to study or socialize. Before they are ready, we should not fasten or involve with their process. This is supported by the fact that Simon Fraser University early child institution has adopted this method for years. They have never forced any child to read or make friends, so students take actions willingly and have achieved better vocabulary levels than other institutions. Accordingly, it is possible to state beyond doubt that being self-motivated is benefiting from enough flexibility. In addition to this, a critic who thinks children waste their second for nothing probably have witnessed some children simply play around with their iPad or video games without picking up any knowledge or skills. In my defence, firstly, games or electronic devices could be helpful and useful to intrigue their interest to words, numbers and shapes, and this turns out an alternative and fun way to learn. Besides, even if the young has not studied anything, which is not the child’s fault, their parents would have offered them with proper and wise guidance to have exposure to different aspects like music, art or sport and lighten their path towards those paths. Therefore, unlimited ability given to children is not attributable to no achievement, rather than the lack of parents’ guidance. In conclusion, it is absolutely amazing that our children could blossom at their own pace and find their passion by the given opportunity. However, as far as I am concerned, lacking of parental lead is the root reason why children get no progress in their generation.
Parents, teachers and babysitters may argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
countless space and time to choose whatever they feel like to try most of the time. From my standpoint, I find this view false in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ways and
I am
strongly
against this. In the following, this essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
eligibility of having well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
freedom and demonstrate how parental guidance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
children.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is ample evidence that the younger generation
are entailed
to have an enormous amount of present and free will to explore the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
exemption have been never too much to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This is
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is unique and develops at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace, which means that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to mentally prepare themselves to study or socialize.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
they are ready, we should not fasten or involve with their process. This
is supported
by the fact that Simon Fraser University early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
institution has adopted this method for years. They have never forced any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to read or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
students take actions
willingly
and have achieved better vocabulary levels than other institutions.
Accordingly
, it is possible to state beyond doubt that being self-motivated is benefiting from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
flexibility.

In addition
to this, a critic who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
waste their second for nothing
probably
have witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
simply
play around with their iPad or video games without picking up any knowledge or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In my
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
,
firstly
, games or electronic devices could be helpful and useful to intrigue their interest to words, numbers and shapes, and this turns out an alternative and fun way to learn.
Besides
, even if the young has not studied anything, which is not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
fault, their parents would have offered them with proper and wise guidance to have exposure to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects like music, art or sport and lighten their path towards those paths.
Therefore
, unlimited ability
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is not attributable to no achievement,
rather
than the lack of parents’ guidance.

In conclusion
, it is
absolutely
amazing that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could blossom at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace and find their passion by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
opportunity.
However
, as far as I
am concerned
, lacking of parental lead is the root reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
no progress in their generation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays children have too much freedom, some people say. Give your opinion with examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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