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Nowadays children are experiencing too much educational and social pressure. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to reduce the pressure? v.1

Nowadays children are experiencing too much educational and social pressure. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to reduce the pressure? v. 1
Different people deal with children differently. A group of people think that, while growing up it is necessary for kids to go out and be part of different teams of sports, music, etc. Others believe that they should spend this time alone. While the latter type of kids will be more independent and able to take decisions singularly, others will learn the skill of communication and habit of sharing. This essay shall discuss both these arguments in detail. One of the main benefits of allowing teenagers to choose their hobbies and spend time in isolation is that they become better decision makers as adults. They think through what they want in life considering all the pros and cons of it. For example, a child who has the talent of drawing when left in his room will automatically start drawing. He will strive for improvement each day and by adulthood be a good artist. Furthermore, this child will throughout his life, take initiative and do things on his own without relying on people. On the contrary, being part of a team is necessary for reasons like, it teaches you how to communicate with people from different backgrounds and mindsets. They will know how to take everyone together in life. An example of this is, a school football team captain shall learn how to keep everyone motivated, resolve issues and keep the team together. These skills in practical life will make him a better family member, a dearer friend and more responsible part of the society. In conclusion, careful upbringing of kids is very important. Some parents feel that their children should be part of more team events while others want them stay individually. In my opinion, parents should see nature of their boy or girl and decide. If they find teams more fun to be with, then encourage them for it otherwise there is no harm to do things in isolation.
Different
people
deal with children
differently
. A group of
people
think
that, while growing up it is necessary for kids to go out and be
part
of
different
teams
of sports, music, etc. Others believe that they should spend this time alone. While the latter type of kids will be more independent and able to take decisions
singularly
, others will learn the
skill
of communication and habit of sharing. This essay shall discuss both these arguments in detail.

One of the main benefits of allowing
teenagers
to choose their hobbies and spend time in isolation is that they become better decision makers as adults. They
think
through what they want in
life
considering all the pros and cons of it.
For example
, a child who has the talent of drawing when
left
in his room will
automatically
start
drawing. He will strive for improvement each day and by adulthood be a
good
artist.
Furthermore
, this child will throughout his
life
, take initiative and do things on his
own
without relying on
people
.

On the contrary
, being
part
of a
team
is necessary for reasons like, it teaches you how to communicate with
people
from
different
backgrounds and mindsets. They will know how to take everyone together in
life
. An example of this is, a school football
team
captain shall learn how to
keep
everyone motivated, resolve issues and
keep
the
team
together. These
skills
in practical
life
will
make
him a better family member, a dearer friend and more responsible
part
of the society.

In conclusion
, careful upbringing of kids is
very
important
.
Some
parents feel that their children should be
part
of more
team
events
while others want them stay
individually
. In my opinion, parents should
see
nature of their boy or girl and decide. If they find
teams
more fun to be with, then encourage them for it
otherwise
there is no harm to do things in isolation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays children are experiencing too much educational and social pressure. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to reduce the pressure? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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