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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour than for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour than for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. v. 2
These days famous people are known for their beauty and richness than accomplishments. While some believe such behaviour negatively affects youngsters, I feel it all depends on the individual and the person he/she follows. To begin, many sportsmen have made the nation proud by winning competitions at the global level. These athletes did not achieve success overnight but through continuous learning, persistence and hard work. Imitating such achievers will help juveniles to carve out their own path and achieve success in the long term. For instance, Sachin Tendulkar, a cricketer who is known best for his batting skills and not for his net worth. Idolising such a cricketer could be beneficial because his way to success was purely hard work and perseverance. However, there are some celebrities who are popular for their looks and hi-fi lifestyle that they display in public. These usually become a star because of their family background or by wrongdoings. Since they lack talent and patience, they tend to depend on their family members. Bollywood for example, many actors are seen nowadays are the children of businessman and they are famous for their luxurious living and spending. Since they do not have to accomplish anything, they post pictures of their lifestyle on social media to gain attention. Copying the behaviour of such personalities will merely ruin a child’s life. In conclusion, young people tend to follow famous persons by imitating them. Care should be taken while choosing an idol because every famous person in this world is not worth to follow.
These days
famous
people
are known
for their beauty and richness than accomplishments. While
some
believe such
behaviour
negatively
affects youngsters, I feel it all depends on the individual and the person he/she follows.

To
begin
,
many
sportsmen have made the nation proud by winning competitions at the global level. These athletes did not achieve success overnight
but
through continuous learning, persistence and
hard
work. Imitating such achievers will
help
juveniles to carve out their
own
path and achieve success in the long term.
For instance
,
Sachin
Tendulkar
, a cricketer who
is known
best for his batting
skills
and not for his net worth.
Idolising
such a cricketer could be beneficial
because
his way to success was
purely
hard
work and perseverance.

However
, there are
some
celebrities who are popular for their looks and hi-fi lifestyle that they display in public. These
usually
become a star
because
of their family background or by wrongdoings. Since they lack talent and patience, they tend to depend on their family members. Bollywood
for example
,
many
actors are
seen
nowadays are the children of
businessman and
they are
famous
for their luxurious living and spending. Since they do not
have to
accomplish anything, they post pictures of their lifestyle on social media to gain attention. Copying the
behaviour
of such personalities will
merely
ruin a child’
s


life
.

In conclusion
, young
people
tend to follow
famous
persons by imitating them. Care should
be taken
while choosing an idol
because
every
famous
person in this world is not worth to follow.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour than for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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