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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

Celebrities lavish and glittery life are popular among youngster these days and it may influence them in bad way. This essay highlights the bad influence on young generation By celebrities lifestyle. In this digital era, with the power of social media like Instagram and Facebook, celebrities can connect and share anything they want to share among their followers etc vacation pictures, partying, new car and house. This make them more famous among fans for their lifestyle and that increasingpopularity of the celebrities more about lifestyle and richnessthan their work. With the help of social media now a days fans knows more about personal life of celebrities very easily and get easily attracted and try to adept the way celebrities live. A celebrities is always popular for their extravagant life among fans and it gives wrong message to young generation. Youngsters admire and follow famous people and try to follow their foot print to become like them. They wish to adept and achieve to match the way celebrities live and party but sometimes in the process to achieve they end up put themselves in trouble. Some indulge themselves into illegal activity to gain resource to become rich or some get into drug and alcohol. Young generation thinks doing thing like celebrities make them popular and famous too. In conclusion, These days Social media platform reveals and increase popularity of personal life of a celebrities among fans and it influence them in bad way too. It also misguidesyoung generation sometime that leads to put negative impact in their life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Celebrities
lavish and glittery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are popular among youngster these
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
days and
it may influence them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way. This essay highlights the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on young generation

By
An apostrophe may be missing.
celebrities
lifestyle.

In this digital era, with the power of social media like Instagram and Facebook,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
can connect and share anything they want to share among their followers etc vacation pictures, partying, new car and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among fans for their lifestyle and that
Possible spelling mistake found.
increasingpopularity
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
more about lifestyle and
Possible spelling mistake found.
richnessthan
their work. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of social media
Did you mean “nowadays”?
now a days
fans knows more about personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easily
attracted and try to adept the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
You should probably use: “are”.
is
always popular for their extravagant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
among
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fans and
it gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
message to young generation. Youngsters admire and follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and try to follow their
The noun “footprint” is spelled as one word.
foot print
to become like them. They wish to adept and achieve to match the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and party
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
in the process to achieve they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up put themselves in trouble.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
indulge themselves into illegal activity to gain resource to become rich or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into drug and alcohol. Young generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
doing thing like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them popular and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
too.

In conclusion
,

These days Social media platform reveals and increase popularity of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
among
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fans and
it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “influences”.
influence
them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way too. It
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
misguidesyoung
generation sometime that leads to put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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