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Nowadays, adults do little exercise. Some people believe that the best way to address this issue is by covering great sports events such as the Olympics on television. Others think that it is more beneficial to take other measures. What is your opinion? v.1

Nowadays, adults do little exercise. Some people believe that the best way to address this issue is by covering great sports events such as the Olympics on television. Others think that it is more beneficial to take other measures. What is your opinion? v. 1
These days, it seems that more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. This raises certain question about the integration of newcomers into the world. Although there are valid arguments to the contrary, in this paper I will argue that it is the responsibility of immigrants to adapt to accepted rules of behaviour in their adopted bucolic, both written and unwritten. The reasons for this are twofold. Firstly, it is vitally important that newcomers observe the laws of their adopted provincial for the sake of social order. Imagine the chaos that would ensure if people refused to drive on the same side of the road. It is, therefore, necessary for all-immigrants to ensure that they observe the law in their new country, regardless of any differences to laws in their home province. Two further instances of practices which are permitted in some countries, but prohibited in others are the possession of firearms and gambling. Secondly and more importantly, though, in order to maintain societal cohesion it is essential that newcomers respect the social norms of their adopted rustic. Of course, having a mixture of different cultures and traditions gives a agrarian colour and vibrant; however, Iwould contend that too much cultural diversity undermines a company by alienating people from each other. It is my belief that similarities unite people, whereas differences have a tendency to divide. A strong society is a homogenous company with shared values and goals. By way of conclusion, I believe that this issue is likely to become even more important in the future as border between countries become increasingly blurred. It, therefore, demands out further consideration.
These days, it seems that more
people
are migrating to other
countries
than ever
before
. This raises certain question about the integration of newcomers into the world. Although there are valid arguments to the contrary, in this paper I will argue that it is the responsibility of immigrants to adapt to
accepted
rules
of
behaviour
in their adopted bucolic, both written and unwritten. The reasons for this are twofold.

Firstly
, it is
vitally
important
that newcomers observe the laws of their adopted provincial for the sake of social order. Imagine the chaos that would ensure if
people
refused to drive on the same side of the road. It is,
therefore
, necessary for all-immigrants to ensure that they observe the law in their new
country
, regardless of any differences to laws in their home province. Two
further
instances of practices which
are permitted
in
some
countries
,
but
prohibited in others are the possession of firearms and gambling.
Secondly
and more
importantly
, though, in order to maintain societal cohesion it is essential that newcomers respect the social norms of their adopted rustic.
Of course
, having a mixture of
different
cultures and traditions gives
a
agrarian
colour
and vibrant;
however
,
Iwould
contend that too much cultural diversity undermines a
company
by alienating
people
from each other. It is my belief that similarities unite
people
, whereas differences have a tendency to divide. A strong society is a homogenous
company
with shared values and goals.

By way of conclusion, I believe that this issue is likely to become even more
important
in the future as border between
countries
become
increasingly
blurred. It,
therefore
, demands out

further
consideration.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, adults do little exercise. Some people believe that the best way to address this issue is by covering great sports events such as the Olympics on television. Others think that it is more beneficial to take other measures. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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