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Some people think that watching sports in one’s free time is just a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Some people think that watching sports in one’s free time is just a waste of time. v. 2
Sports and games make people more active and healthier. However, just because someone watches a sporting event in their free time, it doesn’t mean that they will play it. Some people, therefore, feel that watching sports is a waste of time. This argument certainly sounds logical, but I don’t agree with it. Watching sports in leisure period certainly doesn’t make one healthy. This, however, does not mean that watching sports is a waste of a point. Someone who watches a game is more likely to play it than someone who doesn’t watch it at all. The biggest benefit of watching sporting events is that it encourages the viewer to try their skills at those games. The vast majority of children and youngsters who watch football and cricket on television play these games when their opportunity. This improves their fitness levels. During such sessions, some children also discover their hidden talents. If they didn’t watch these games on television, they wouldn’t play them. Of course, a person who only watches a game and does not play it will not benefit much. All those hours spent in front of the TV can actually make them obese. Even so, there are several life lessons that we can learn from sports. The most important is the ability to accept success and defeat alike. Another benefit of watching sporting events is that it provides entertainment and relaxation. Most of us lead extremely stressful lives these days. Sport provides relaxation and helps beat stress. There is one more reason to watch sports. Sporting events have become a major business. People who watch them on television or from a stadium are helping local and global economy in many ways. To conclude, watching sporting events during one’s free pace is not a waste of a point. Someone who watches sports and games are also more likely to play them. This will have a positive impact on their health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more active and healthier.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watches
a sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
in their free time, it doesn’t mean that they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
therefore
, feel that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is a waste of time. This argument
certainly
sounds logical,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it.

Watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in leisure period
certainly
doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one healthy. This,
however
, does not mean that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is a waste of a point.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watches
a game is more likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
it than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
doesn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
it at all.

The biggest benefit of watching sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is that it encourages the viewer to try their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. The vast majority of children and youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
football and cricket on television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
when their opportunity. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their fitness levels. During such sessions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children
also
discover their hidden talents. If they didn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on television, they wouldn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
them.
Of course
, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watches
a game and does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
it will not benefit much. All those hours spent in front of the TV can actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them obese. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, there are several life lessons that we can learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is the ability to accept success and defeat alike.

Another benefit of watching sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is that it provides entertainment and relaxation. Most of us lead
extremely
stressful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
these days.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
provides relaxation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
beat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. There is one more reason to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
have become a major business.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
them on television or from a stadium are helping local and global economy in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

To conclude
, watching sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
during one’s free pace is not a waste of a point.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
also
more likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
them. This will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on their health.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that watching sports in one’s free time is just a waste of time. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
320 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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