Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? To what extent do you support this development? v.1

Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? v. 1
The world is developing and moving todays the brighter future and it is processed in all the possible ways. The changes taking place in peoples' lives are even affecting their thinking process. Being parents are important in our society, but as per the current situation, it on the second position on the priority list. In the following paragraphs, I shall be discussing more of the same content. Initially, there was a different thought process of on an individual or a community. Those days family planning was the top most important as they believed, giving birth in younger age is healthy and with growing age girls will face lot of complication and their family won't be growing. Though they were right in their thinking. Females do face many complications after certain time. However, In todays era things are slightly different as compared with the earlier generation. Education level has increased and human's have started asking more question and they are getting answers to which they are getting answers. So, this century has more of a practical approach towards all the issue which comes in front of them. Making human being is important for them too, but they have their priority sets and the issue which arises because of the age is also being sorted as they have multiple solutions. For example, They have a healthy lifestyle, Surrogasy, Test tube babies and so on. There are drawback of this action as one can't experience of the mother nature's process. Moreover, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. it completes a couple choices. What they want and expect from their lives. Whether they are willing to take the risk or not. To summarise, As per my thought process modern culture has it's own benefits and effects. It depends on a family. How they choose to live their lives.
The world is developing and moving
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
the brighter future and it
is processed
in all the possible ways. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
taking place in peoples'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
are even affecting their thinking process. Being parents are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as per the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation, it on the second position on the priority list. In the following paragraphs, I shall be discussing more of the same content.

Initially
, there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process of on an individual or a community. Those
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
family planning was the top most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as they believed, giving birth in younger age is healthy and with growing age girls will face
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
complication and their family won't be growing.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
they were right in their thinking. Females do face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
complications after certain time.
However
, In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
era things are
slightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
as compared with the earlier generation. Education level has increased and human's have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
asking more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
question and
they are getting answers to which they are getting answers.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this century has more of a practical approach towards all the issue which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in front of them. Making human being is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have their priority sets and the issue which arises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the age is
also
being sorted
as they have multiple solutions.
For example
, They have a healthy lifestyle,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Surrogasy
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Test
tube babies and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. There are drawback of this action as one can't experience of the mother nature's process.

Moreover
, every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
completes a couple choices. What they want and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Whether they are willing to take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
or not.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, As per my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process modern culture has
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and effects. It depends on a family. How they choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts