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The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. To what extent you agree or disagree? v.1

The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. v. 1
Smoking much more than a habit, it is becoming addictive. Authorities have imposed various conditions to stop smoking in public areas. I agree, this essay will discuss why smoking must ban in public places. Foremost smoking is becoming a habit, and it is addictive and also smoking creates a huge impact towards the society where if we are outside if the one smokes this can create a negative impact on the society and also in the areas which are public places. They are connected to many people rather than smoking the passive smoking will create a larger impact. Is the one of smoking in a crowded area in the public areas and we are standing or we are being alone with him or her then it may be dangerous to us! So strictly free public places out of smoking hazards will help in preventing any harm to others in a way to apply this law, any place installs the smoke detector device to easily detected trying to break the law. Second, many people who dislike the smell of smokes are will be more annoyed and if the area is full of smoke if possible to have small children, they will be not there will not happy not be happy if smokes are everyone sometimes difficult to find a site which is a feeling, of smoke to enjoy. Every shared zone must be prohibited to do such type of activities. Finally, I believe that the advantage of the smoking prohibition of smoking outweighs the disadvantages because it helps from any illness discomfort in public areas.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
much more than a habit, it is becoming addictive. Authorities have imposed various conditions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, this essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ban in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places.

Foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is becoming a habit, and it is addictive and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
creates a huge impact towards the society where if we are outside if the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smokes
this can create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the society and
also
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places. They
are connected
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
the passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
will create a larger impact. Is the one of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in a crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
areas and
we are
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
standing or
we are being alone with him or her then it may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to us!
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
strictly
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
hazards will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in preventing any harm to others in a way to apply this law, any place installs the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
detector device to
easily
detected trying to break the law.

Second,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who dislike the smell of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smokes
are will be more annoyed and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
if possible to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
children, they will be not there will not happy not be happy if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smokes
are everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
difficult to find a site which is a feeling, of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
to enjoy. Every shared zone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be prohibited
to do such type of activities.

Finally
, I believe that the advantage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
prohibition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
outweighs the disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
from any illness discomfort in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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