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Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated. Does this machine automation has more pros than cons? v.3

Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated. Does this machine automation has more pros than cons? v. 3
Modern technology has equipped us with machines, which are working like robots. In my opinion, the drawbacks of a mechanization are eclipsed by its benefits in a sense that machines help in the development of society and country. A major disadvantage of computerization in industries is the possibility of reducing the workforce. Industries house number of employees with different skill set to their task. If the dependence on automatic machine increases, larger group of people will lose their jobs. Take any car manufacturing industry, which contains complex machineries that requires no human intervention for manufacturing of cars. If they had changed automated plant into the manual, there are no problems of unemployment. Granted, a mechanization in society might have a negative effect on the unemployment, but an accuracy and efficiency of this self-governing machine are favourable in terms of output. Machines features various tools and instruments which manufactures and creates products accurately. The innovations in the field of computerization, for instance, updates the process which makes machines more and more complex compared to the machines available earlier. This example speaks volumes how accurately and precisely a robot can work in any surrounding. Since robots are capable of working in any dangerous situation, human lives are saved in activities like nuclear power plants, diffusing a bomb and much more. In conclusion, the disadvantages of a machine computerization are overshadowed by the benefits accruing from work done by machines. Therefore, having weighted up the pros and cons, I am convinced that automating a task is required and plays a crucial role in society as well as, in a life of an individual.
Modern technology has equipped us with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
, which are working like robots. In my opinion, the drawbacks of a mechanization
are eclipsed
by its benefits in a sense that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the development of society and country.

A major disadvantage of computerization in industries is the possibility of reducing the workforce. Industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
number of employees with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set to their task. If the dependence on automatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
increases, larger group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will lose their jobs. Take any car manufacturing industry, which contains complex
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
that requires no human intervention for manufacturing of cars. If they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
automated plant into the manual, there are no problems of unemployment.

Granted, a mechanization in society might have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the unemployment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an accuracy and efficiency of this self-governing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
in terms of output.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "Machine features" or "Machines feature".
Machines features
various tools and instruments which manufactures and creates products
accurately
. The innovations in the field of computerization,
for instance
, updates the process which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
more and more complex compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
available earlier. This example speaks volumes how
accurately
and
precisely
a robot can work in any surrounding. Since robots are capable of working in any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situation, human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are saved
in activities like nuclear power plants,
Did you mean "defusing" (=removing the fuse from a bomb)? "Diffuse" as a verb means to spread out.
diffusing
a bomb and much more.

In conclusion
, the disadvantages of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
computerization
are overshadowed
by the benefits accruing from work done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
.
Therefore
, having weighted up the pros and cons, I
am convinced
that automating a task
is required
and plays a crucial role in society
as well
as, in a life of an individual.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated. Does this machine automation has more pros than cons? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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