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Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated. Does this machine automation have more pros than cons. v.2

Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated. Does this machine automation have more pros than cons. v. 2
Modern technology has equipped with machines. With the invent of machineries work become easier and convenient for the individuals and the society. This advancement has both more positive effects in comparison to a negative effect, which articulate in the enlisted paragraphs. On the one hand, there are numerous advantages of using machines. First and foremost reason of this household chores become a easy task for people. This is because of house appliances make work faster, which saves enormous amount of time and energy. Moreover, it reduces burden of house chores that help people to send time with their family. For instance, washing machines or dishwashers save more than 56% of time for the women, which helps them to spend time with their children. Secondly, machineries assist in maintaining the quality and quantity in the industrial sector. In other words, machines can do production in bulk, which is necessary to fulfill the demand. Along with this, the resources are used in equal proportions for each and every items that maintenance the quality of the products, and in increased the profit of the industry. Thus, it minimise the domestic workload and industries can produce the goods in larger proportion. On the other hand, the prominent disadvantage of automation is over dependency on it. To explain in detail, people are highly dependent on the machines, due to this they are involved in less physical activities, which creates health problems. A recent survey has been conducted by the World Health Organization reveals that more than 67% of people are rely on machines. The consequences of this the problem of obesity and heart problems. Hence, the masses are extensively depend on a modern technology which generates health issues. In conclusion, it is truly said that machines make work feasible and smoother for human beings. Since the usage of machineries increase in all fields, the work can complete without efforts. While, depending on equipments create trouble in life, though the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
Modern technology has equipped with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. With the
The word 'invent' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "invention"?
invent
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
become easier and convenient for the individuals and the society. This advancement has both more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects
in comparison
to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect, which articulate in the enlisted paragraphs.

On the one hand, there are numerous advantages of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
.
First
and foremost reason of this household chores become
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
easy task for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
appliances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
faster, which saves enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
burden of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family.
For instance
, washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
or dishwashers save more than 56% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for the women, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their children.
Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
assist in maintaining the quality and quantity in the industrial sector.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
can do production in bulk, which is necessary to fulfill the demand. Along with this, the resources are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in equal proportions for each and every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "item"?
items
that maintenance the quality of the products, and in increased the profit of the industry.
Thus
, it
Did you mean "minimises"?
minimise
the domestic workload and industries can produce the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in larger proportion.

On the other hand
, the prominent disadvantage of automation is over dependency on it. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in detail,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
highly
dependent on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
, due to this they
are involved
in less physical activities, which creates health problems. A recent survey has
been conducted
by the World Health Organization reveals that more than 67% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. The consequences of this the problem of obesity and heart problems.
Hence
, the masses are
extensively
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on a modern technology which generates health issues.

In conclusion
, it is
truly
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
feasible and smoother for human beings. Since the usage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
increase in all fields, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can complete without efforts. While, depending on equipments create trouble in life, though the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated. Does this machine automation have more pros than cons. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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