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Some people like having a wide variety of friends and acquaintances they can spend time with. Others like to spend most of their free time with the same small group of close friends. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v.1

Some people like having a wide variety of friends and acquaintances they can spend time with. Others like to spend most of their free time with the same small group of close friends. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v. 1
Everyone has their own Talen, some people say it is when they were born as sport or music, while others oppose this because they think that any child taught can become a good sports or music person. I personally agree with both views. On the one hand, people who think that capacity is available since they were born may be genetically right. For instance, a mother with a good voice, her child may have a good voice because they listen to her voice regularly and will remember that sound in their brain. Another example of this view is the famous composer Mozart, he has a father who is a composer. The two examples above show that genetic factors are possible and that they affect a child’s thinking, thus creating art. On the other hand, I also think power can be built and improved through environmental factors. Although we do not have the inherit element, we can go through books, practice to become a good sports person or a musician. For example, many people have to spend a lot of time and money to practice vocal. Therefore, the importance of environmental factors cannot have denied because if there is only a genetic without guidance then the savvy can be lost. In conclusion, everyone has their own talents, but human talents are not always available, but sometimes require external support to create it.
Everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
Talen
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say it is when they
were born
as sport or music, while others oppose this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that any child taught can become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
sports or music person. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both views.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that capacity is available since they
were born
may be
genetically
right.
For instance
, a mother with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
voice, her child may have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
voice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they listen to her voice
regularly
and will remember that sound in their brain. Another example of this view is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
composer Mozart, he has a father who is a composer. The two examples above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that genetic factors are possible and that they affect a child’s thinking,
thus
creating art.

On the other hand
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
power can
be built
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
through environmental factors. Although we do not have
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'inherit' is correct. If 'inherit' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the inherit
element, we can go through books, practice to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
sports person or a musician.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and money to practice vocal.
Therefore
, the importance of environmental factors cannot have denied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a genetic without guidance then the savvy can
be lost
.

In conclusion
, everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
talents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
human talents are not always available,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
require external support to create it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people like having a wide variety of friends and acquaintances they can spend time with. Others like to spend most of their free time with the same small group of close friends. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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