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*** Now the child is not as good as the previous child, the following acts you think which one can help 5-10 years old children behave better 1, control the child watching TV movies 2, spend more time to accompany children to chat 3, monitoring the relati v.2

*** Now the child is not as good as the previous child, the following acts you think which one can help 5-10 years old children behave better 1, control the child watching TV movies 2, spend more time to accompany children to chat 3, monitoring the relati v. 2
In this world, all elements which we associate are really apparent, which is why it is very onerous to take decision strongly that a solution of this problem is effective. No doubt, this theme is accurately applicable in our personal problems especially in our family life. Today' s challenge is that we are unable to materialize our children as an ideal one which is the prime reason for kid' s being uncontrollable. However, albeit there are a lot of procedures, may be controlling kid from watching tv movies way to resist them not to behave irresponsively. That' s why I wholeheartedly opine in it and try to substantiate it by dint of proper logics. To embark on, what is the outcome from watching movies on the television? If this question is asked, surely we will answer, it is entertainment, nothing else. But such matured tv movies are not congruent with the kids, so if they watch such movies, it act as a wastage of valuable time. For instance, if 10 year old kid watches tv movie, he will learn nothing. Moreover, his psychology will be distorted in such a way that he will not behave normal kid. Similarly, his mentally will form just like a older person which eventually make him lazy. Especially, as his valuable time is lost, his perception will not form what should be his behavior. In example, my cousin invariably watches movie albeit he is only 11. So he can' t talk to us just like a respectable manner and his psychology are going to deciminate. In addition, every kid has its own time and need association just like his friends. If we always confine them and give time to check what they are doing, it will not create a congenial atmosphere for their advancement of psychology. So, accompanying them for a long time in a day will not function well to bear them what I want. For example, my neighbor most of the time recommended his children not to go outside and accompany them at home. Surprisingly, what is the outcome, nothing one child is unsociable and can' t accommodate with the environment? Additionally it is said that, kid behaves in such a way that to control him is very cumbersome. Last but not least, we are unable to look on kid' s association all times. So in order to bear them via keeping relationship with his friends is not a good idea to behave them well. Mostly today' s kid is very clever and they behave well in front of parents, but furtively, call bad others bad names. Besides, they enjoy their life independently with their friends, which is why it is hard to resist him. From my experience, my cousin is a vagabond, In front of his parents he is ok but others times he wanders ramblingly. So his behavior is not up to the mark. On the other hand if he is kept governed and not taken advantages of watching movie he will not learn wickedness at all. To wrap it up, it is very onerous to provide the solution of this open-ended question. So although some may oppose my purview, it is clear that controlling watching movie, it surely increment his psychology as a kid and will learn as an optimistic citizen. However monitoring kids may solve problem a little bit, it is very hard to ensure, that' s why I think only through controlling them in family can we instruct a proper behavior.
In this world, all elements which we associate are
really
apparent, which is why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
onerous to take decision
strongly
that a solution of this problem is effective. No doubt, this theme is
accurately
applicable in our personal problems
especially
in our family life.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Today&
#039; s challenge is that we are unable to materialize our children as an ideal one which is the prime reason for
Possible spelling mistake found.
kid&
#039; s being uncontrollable.
However
, albeit there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
procedures, may be controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
from watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
way to resist them not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behave
Possible spelling mistake found.
irresponsively
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
That&
#039; s why I
wholeheartedly
opine in it and try to substantiate it by dint of proper logics.

To embark on, what is the outcome from watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on the television? If this question
is asked
,
surely
we will answer, it is entertainment, nothing else.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
such matured
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are not congruent with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, it
Did you mean "acts"?
act
as a wastage of valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For instance
, if 10 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
, he will learn nothing.
Moreover
, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychology
will
be distorted
in such a way that he will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behave
normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
.
Similarly
, his mentally will form
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
older person which
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him lazy.
Especially
, as his valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is lost
, his perception will not form what should be his behavior. In example, my cousin
invariably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
albeit he is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
11.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
he
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t talk to us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like a respectable manner and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychology
are going to
Possible spelling mistake found.
deciminate
.

In addition
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and need association
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like his friends. If we always confine them and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
what they are doing, it will not create a congenial atmosphere for their advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychology
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, accompanying them for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a day will not function well to bear them what I want.
For example
, my neighbor most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
recommended his children not to go outside and accompany them at home.
Surprisingly
, what is the outcome, nothing one child is unsociable and
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t accommodate with the environment?
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
it
is said
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaves
in such a way that to control him is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
cumbersome.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, we are unable to look on
Possible spelling mistake found.
kid&
#039; s association all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in order to bear them via keeping relationship with his friends is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behave
them well.
Mostly
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
clever and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behave
well in front of parents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
furtively
, call
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
names.
Besides
, they enjoy their life
independently
with their friends, which is why it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to resist him. From my experience, my cousin is a vagabond, In front of his parents he is ok
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
he wanders
Possible spelling mistake found.
ramblingly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
his behavior is not up to the mark.
On the other hand
if he is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
governed and not taken advantages of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
he will not learn wickedness at all.

To wrap it up, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
onerous to provide the solution of this open-ended question.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may oppose my purview, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that controlling watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
, it
surely
Did you mean "increments"?
increment
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychology
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
and will learn as an optimistic citizen.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
monitoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
may solve problem a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to ensure,
Possible spelling mistake found.
that&
#039; s why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through controlling them in family can we instruct a proper behavior.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Mistakes

IELTS essay *** Now the child is not as good as the previous child, the following acts you think which one can help 5-10 years old children behave better 1, control the child watching TV movies 2, spend more time to accompany children to chat 3, monitoring the relati v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
583 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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