Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Children would behave negatively before they learn how to behave appropriately. Which of the following behavior would you consider to be the most negative behavior of a child and why? ۱٫ Being selfish۲٫ Being impolite۳٫ Being loud v.2

Children would behave negatively before they learn how to behave appropriately. Which of the following behavior would you consider to be the most negative behavior of a child and why? ۱٫ Being selfish۲٫ Being impolite۳٫ Being loud v. 2
Needless to say, young children sometimes act negatively and these actions can be sometimes reflected in the way of speaking with people. This brings up a highly controversial topic regarding children' s attitude in the early growth ages whether being rude is considerably bad treatment in the children or not. I strongly believe that treating impolitely is the most negative behavior that children can have. The reasons behind this standpoint are connected to the friendship with others as well as annoying relatives, explained in the following paragraphs in great detail. To begin with, being impolite cause children not to make new friends. In other words, when young children communicate impolitely with other children in their ages and their friends, they will not be able to communicate with them. This will cause children' s relationship with their best friends broken or even in the severe condition, they cannot make new friends. My brother’s experience provides an illuminating insight into this fact. When my brother was a child, he used to be an impolite person. He used to misbehave when he met his friends which, in turn, resulted in losing some of his friends. Not only did his previous relationships with his friends get broken but also he did make new friends at school because all of his classmates thought that he could not be an appropriate friend. However, These circumstances happened before he learned to behave politely with others. Consequently, if a young child is an impolite child, he or she will miss the opportunity of building a new friendship. The second point worth discussing is related to displeasing other people. In fact, young children are not developed mentally and thus they are not able to distinguish what is a good or wrong attitude. If children treating impolitely with other people including strangers or relatives such as grandparents, it will lead to people become annoyed. One example will suffice to illustrate my point. As I previously mentioned, my brother used to be impolite before learning how to treat appropriately. One day, when my grandfather was watching to television, my brother related with her in an extremely rude manners. Although my grandmother known that he is a child and thus the child cannot differentiate the proper behavior, my mother got angry. I had not known why she left our house before I spoke with her. After a few minute talking with my grandmother, it turned out that she was irritated by my brother' s statements. Hence, as you can see, being rude is a bad treatment that young children could have because of leading to irritating other people. In conclusion, according to above-mentioned factors, I contend that the impolite treatment is a negative one due to not allowing to make new friends and displeasing other people.
Needless to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
act
negatively
and these actions can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
reflected in the way of speaking with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This brings up a
highly
controversial topic regarding
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s attitude in the early growth ages whether being rude is
considerably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
treatment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or not. I
strongly
believe that treating
impolitely
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
behavior that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can have. The reasons behind this standpoint
are connected
to the friendship with others
as well
as annoying relatives,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the following paragraphs in great detail.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impolite
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
communicate
impolitely
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their ages and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, they will not be able to communicate with them. This will cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s relationship with their best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
broken or even in the severe condition, they cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother’s
experience provides an illuminating insight into this fact. When my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impolite
person. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to misbehave when he met his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
which, in turn, resulted in losing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
did his previous relationships with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
broken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
he did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all of his classmates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that he could not be an appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
.
However
, These circumstances happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
he learned to behave
politely
with others.
Consequently
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impolite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, he or she will miss the opportunity of building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friendship.

The second point worth discussing
is related
to displeasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not developed mentally and
thus
they are not able to distinguish what is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
attitude. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
treating
impolitely
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
including strangers or relatives such as grandparents, it will lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become annoyed. One example will suffice to illustrate my point. As I previously mentioned, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impolite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
learning how to treat
appropriately
. One day, when my grandfather was watching to television, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
related with her in an
extremely
rude manners. Although my grandmother known that he is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and
thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
cannot differentiate the proper behavior, my mother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
angry. I had not known why she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I spoke with her. After a few minute talking with my grandmother, it turned out that she
was irritated
by my
Possible spelling mistake found.
brother&
#039; s statements.
Hence
, as you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, being rude is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
treatment that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of leading to irritating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, according to above-mentioned factors, I contend that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impolite
treatment is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
one due to not allowing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and displeasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Children would behave negatively before they learn how to behave appropriately. Which of the following behavior would you consider to be the most negative behavior of a child and why? ۱٫ Being selfish۲٫ Being impolite۳٫ Being loud v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
464 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts