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Children would behave negatively before they learn how to behave appropriately. Which of the following behavior would you consider to be the most negative behavior of a child and why? ۱٫ Being selfish۲٫ Being impolite۳٫ Being loud v.1

Children would behave negatively before they learn how to behave appropriately. Which of the following behavior would you consider to be the most negative behavior of a child and why? ۱٫ Being selfish۲٫ Being impolite۳٫ Being loud v. 1
It is believed by some people that levels of violence nowadays have increased owing to increased violence in television and movies. In my opinion, movies have a tremendous role in increasing criminal activity in general people. Nowadays, the directors and producers have increased violence in movies and televisions as they have the opinion that the audience appreciate this so they tend to increase the proportion of violent scenes. This is not even censored by the censor board. For example, seasons like the game of thrones had the maximum audience owing to the ferociousness it displayed. Initially people were less receptive to beheading and other violent scenes, but since it is extensively shown, they have become more receptive and palatable. For instance, Afghanistan, the Taliban has adopted this technique and other torturing mechanisms for their captives most probably following the movies. The heroes are presented as aggressive, merciless and violent people, which people idealize and tend to copy. They commit crimes in a number of sophisticated ways and escape punishment skilfully, this gives innovative ideas to people to commit crimes. For example, the recent burglaries in Las Vegas confessed that their central theme was adopted from oceans` eleven series, they saw in movies. The increase in terrorism in the world is probably due the war movies. Many acts of terrorism, which we witness now were once shown in movies. The 9/11 incident of attack on the twin towers in the USA which has shaken the history of mankind was shown in movies 10 years earlier. Hence movies have a key role in increasing rampage not only individually, but as a whole involving the universe. In conclusion, the increasing brutality in movies and television is in fact changing the mindset of general people from peaceful to criminal brains, so adequate censorship policies should be adopted by countries to curb this.
It
is believed
by
some
people
that levels of violence nowadays have increased owing to increased violence in television and
movies
. In my opinion,
movies
have a tremendous role in increasing criminal activity
in general
people
.

Nowadays, the directors and producers have increased violence in
movies
and televisions as they have the opinion that the audience appreciate this
so
they tend to increase the proportion of violent scenes. This is not even censored by the censor board.
For example
, seasons like the
game of thrones
had the maximum audience owing to the ferociousness it displayed.
Initially
people
were less receptive to beheading and other violent scenes,
but
since it is
extensively
shown, they have become more receptive and palatable.
For instance
, Afghanistan, the Taliban has adopted this technique and other torturing mechanisms for their captives most
probably
following the movies.

The heroes
are presented
as aggressive, merciless and violent
people
, which
people
idealize and tend to copy. They commit crimes in a number of sophisticated ways and escape punishment
skilfully
, this gives innovative
ideas
to
people
to commit crimes.
For example
, the recent burglaries in Las Vegas confessed that their central theme
was adopted
from oceans` eleven series, they
saw
in movies.

The increase in terrorism in the world is
probably
due the war
movies
.
Many
acts of terrorism, which we witness
now
were once shown in
movies
. The 9/11 incident of attack on the twin towers in the USA which has shaken the history of mankind
was shown
in
movies
10 years earlier.
Hence
movies
have a key role in increasing rampage not
only
individually
,
but
as a whole involving the universe.

In conclusion
, the increasing brutality in
movies
and television is in fact changing the mindset of general
people
from peaceful to criminal brains,
so
adequate censorship policies should
be adopted
by countries to curb this.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Children would behave negatively before they learn how to behave appropriately. Which of the following behavior would you consider to be the most negative behavior of a child and why? ۱٫ Being selfish۲٫ Being impolite۳٫ Being loud v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
308 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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