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Not so many people use a bicycle although it has many benefits. Why? How to encourage people to use bicycles as a main transport? v.1

Not so many people use a bicycle although it has many benefits. Why? How to encourage people to use bicycles as a main transport? v. 1
Smoking in public places is currently being prohibited in some nations and it is agreed by men and women that such a prohibition is a right step in the right direction. This essay totally agrees with this statement because it caters for citizens who are allergic to smoke and brings sanity to the environs. Uncontrolled smoking will put the health of people who are asthmatic patients and persons with upper respiratory tract ailments in danger. This is because they are usually characterised with symptom such as cough whenever they come in contact with smoke. As a result, the activation of their diseases could lead to their death if immediate medical attention is not given. For example, the United Nations have directed the government of states to stop public smoking, which has led UK to ban smoking in most of their public venues. Therefore, when a law is put in place to prevent general smoking, the health of vulnerable people would not be at risk. Another good reason why smoking should not be carried out in the open is to instil sanity. In other words, when men and women are allowed to smoke wherever they want, it would deface the beauty of our environment. Consequently, it will create nuisance when every public site is being littered with sticks, ashes and packets of cigarettes. For instance, when the UK government made a law against smokers and littering in public scenes, every open place is now as clean as ever before because people do not want to pay a fine or do community service for a period of three months. Therefore, a commitment to keep these places neat and tidy, would be a great deal towards achieving serenity in our locality. In conclusion, smokers have been banned presently from using public sites and it is a welcome development because it would not aggravate the health condition of the sick and keeps the environment clean.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is
currently
being prohibited
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women that such a prohibition is a right step in the right direction. This essay
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it caters for citizens who are allergic to smoke and brings sanity to the environs.

Uncontrolled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
will put the health of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are asthmatic patients and persons with upper respiratory tract ailments in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
usually
Possible spelling mistake. 'characterised' is British English.
characterised
with symptom such as cough whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in contact with smoke.
As a result
, the activation of their diseases could lead to their death if immediate medical attention is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
For example
, the United Nations have directed the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of states to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, which has led UK to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
venues.
Therefore
, when a law
is put
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, the health of vulnerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would not be at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.

Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should not
be carried
out in the open is to
Possible spelling mistake. 'instil' is British English.
instil
sanity.
In other words
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to smoke wherever they want, it would deface the beauty of our environment.
Consequently
, it will create nuisance when every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
site is
being littered
with sticks, ashes and packets of cigarettes.
For instance
, when the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
made a law against smokers and littering in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
scenes, every open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
as clean as ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not want to pay a fine or do community service for a period of three months.
Therefore
, a commitment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
neat and tidy, would be a great deal towards achieving serenity in our locality.

In conclusion
, smokers have
been banned
presently
from using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
sites and it is a welcome development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would not aggravate the health condition of the sick and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the environment clean.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Not so many people use a bicycle although it has many benefits. Why? How to encourage people to use bicycles as a main transport? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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