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You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child Write a letter to the parents In your letter Explain why you would like the job give details of why you would v.1

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child Write a letter to the parents In your letter Explain why you would like the job give details of why you would v. 1
Some might argue, that air travel is causing major harm to the environment in the matter of burning a tremendous amount of fossil fuel each year and depleting the world oil reserve, and demand that it should be limited. Although, it's irrefutable that flying jets cause damage to the environment, I, however, firmly disagree that it is beneficial to minimize the number of flights or restrict them. This essay addresses the reasons behind my opposition. One significant reason to support my claim is that many government's economies depend solely on the income provided by the tourism sector which is vitally depended on the air travel. For further elaboration, in a country such as Egypt tourism industry generate more than 5 billion U. S. Dollars annually and provide more than 2 million job, naturally most of the tourists if not all come through airports, since you could travel across continents in mere hours and it has become more and more convenient means of travel nowadays, so it will impact the economy in a destructive manner if air travel was to be restricted or banned in any way. In fact, it will increase the unemployment rate exponentially, Therefore, it's really impractical economy wise to tackle this concerning issue Another reason in favour of my opinion that many environmentalists have proven that air travel is rather friendly to the environment in comparison to other means of transportation. additionally, ground and maritime transportation means producing more than triple carbon dioxide emissions and consume way more fossil fuel than air travel. As a result, it's quite trivial to even think in making any reparations in the air travel sector before addressing the largest carbon emitters which are far more concerning to tackle. In conclusion, even if the flight schedule globally could be minimized somehow, it is not a viable or a long term solution to tackle fossil fuel depletion or carbon dioxide emissions. Moreover, scientist must find a fossil fuel replacement in the near future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
might argue, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is causing major harm to the environment in the matter of burning a tremendous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
each year and depleting the world oil reserve, and demand that it should
be limited
. Although, it's irrefutable that flying jets cause damage to the environment, I,
however
,
firmly
disagree that it is beneficial to minimize the number of flights or restrict them. This essay addresses the reasons behind my opposition.

One significant reason to support my claim is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's economies depend
solely
on the income provided by the tourism sector which is
vitally
depended on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. For
further
elaboration, in a country such as Egypt tourism industry generate more than 5 billion U. S. Dollars
annually
and provide more than 2 million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'job' seems to be countable, so consider using: "jobs".
job
,
naturally
most of the tourists if not all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
through airports, since you could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
across continents in mere hours and it has become more and more convenient means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will impact the economy
Consider replacing "in a destructive manner" with the adverb for "destructive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a destructive manner
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
was to
be restricted
or banned in any way. In fact, it will increase the unemployment rate
exponentially
,
Therefore
, it's
really
impractical economy wise to tackle this concerning
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
issue


Another reason in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my opinion that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
environmentalists have proven that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is
rather
friendly to the environment
in comparison
to other means of transportation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
additionally
, ground and maritime transportation means producing more than triple carbon dioxide emissions and consume way more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
.
As a result
, it's quite trivial to even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in making any reparations in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
addressing the largest carbon emitters which are far more concerning to tackle.

In conclusion
, even if the flight schedule globally could
be minimized
somehow, it is not a viable or a long term solution to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
depletion or carbon dioxide emissions.
Moreover
, scientist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
replacement in the near future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child Write a letter to the parents In your letter Explain why you would like the job give details of why you would v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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