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Newspapers have an enormous influence on people’s opinions and ideas. Do you think it is a positive or negative situation? v.2

Newspapers have an enormous influence on people’s opinions and ideas. Do you think it is a positive or negative situation? v. 2
Newspapers have a huge impact on people's belief and the way they perceive things. In my opinion, this phenomenon is a positive one because it enlightens people with happenings around the globe and at the same time educates the public and provide opportunities such as job offers to them. Firstly, Newspaper is a medium through which people can get aquatinted with adequate knowledge of what goes around. This is because apart from television, radio and the internet, newspapers are another effective media platform that carries informative news about current happenings in the local and international scene. In addition, the newspaper is beneficial to people who do not have access to other media platforms and they can be equally informed as others. For example, people in Nigeria where there is a constant interrupted power supply, now rely on newspapers as a source of information in other to be updated with the ongoing pandemic. Secondly, people have been educated and enlightened through newspapers. Method of hand washing has been taught since the beginning of the pandemic and people have learnt how to avoid direct contact with people. Finally, jobs have been advertised in newspapers as well as scholarships, which has created opportunities for the people. Several businesses have gained customers as well as employed more people to their company. For example, 56% of the employees of NNPC confirmed that they got to know about its vacancy through their adverts on newspapers. In conclusion, newspapers have had positive effects on people's judgement and belief and at the same time, it has created job opportunities and enlightened the public.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Newspapers
have a huge impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's belief and the way they perceive things. In my opinion, this phenomenon is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it enlightens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with happenings around the globe and at the same time educates the public and provide opportunities such as job offers to them.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Newspaper
is a medium through which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
aquatinted
with adequate knowledge of what goes around. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
apart from television, radio and the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are another effective media platform that carries informative news about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
happenings in the local and international scene.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not have access to other media
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
platforms and
they can be
equally
informed as others.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Nigeria where there is a constant interrupted power supply,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
as a source of information in other to
be updated
with the ongoing pandemic.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been educated
and enlightened through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. Method of hand washing has
been taught
since the beginning of the pandemic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
how to avoid direct contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Finally
, jobs have
been advertised
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
as well
as scholarships, which has created opportunities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Several businesses have gained customers
as well
as employed more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For example
, 56% of the employees of
Possible spelling mistake found.
NNPC
confirmed that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to know about its vacancy through their adverts on newspapers.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
have had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's judgement and belief and at the same time, it has created job opportunities and enlightened the public.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Newspapers have an enormous influence on people’s opinions and ideas. Do you think it is a positive or negative situation? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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