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News plays an important part of most people's lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead? v.6

News plays an important part of most people's lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead? v. 6
The news is considered by many people to be the important thing that could influence their lives. This essay will first describe why bad news dominates the headlines and it will then address the questions of whether news-gatherers should aim more on good news or not. Reading news in the morning brings information of current events to a lot of people and it could affect how we live, such as whether we decide to bring umbrella or not or economic recession that could have an impact on our job performance. Furthermore, people like to hear about politics issue especially on election day. People determined their choice that is important to the future from what they gain in news broadcasts. However, news broadcasts concentrate so much on negative news and depressing events. These cause users paying more attention to terrible events. This shown by a tricky survey that ran in Canada without known by the participants. As the result, all of the contributors often choose stories with a negative tone, because it could be a signal for them to avoid danger. On the other hand, too much listening to bad news also has the drawback. It could reduce people ‘s trust to the government, even the nation could be divided. That is why people need to hear positive stories namely people’s achievements. It would give the citizens positive energy and they would act positively such as being happy and optimistic that can spread to other people. All in all, things change in the world constantly, that is why news is necessary. And people need to make time for reading or watching the news but remain balancing what they get between positive and negative news.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing that could influence their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay will
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
dominates the headlines and it will then address the questions of whether news-gatherers should aim more on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
or not.

Reading
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news
in the morning brings information of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it could affect how we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, such as whether we decide to bring umbrella or not or economic recession that could have an impact on our job performance.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to hear about politics issue
especially
on election day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
determined their choice
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the future from what they gain in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
broadcasts.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
broadcasts concentrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and depressing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. These cause users paying more attention to terrible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. This shown by a tricky survey that ran in Canada without known by the participants. As the result,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
contributors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
choose stories with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
tone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could be a signal for them to avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

On the other hand
, too much listening to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
also
has the drawback. It could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
‘s trust to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, even the nation could
be divided
.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to hear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
stories
namely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
achievements. It would give the citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
energy and
they would act
positively
such as being happy and optimistic that can spread to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

All in all, things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the world
constantly
,
that is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is necessary. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
time for reading or watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
remain balancing what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay News plays an important part of most people's lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead? v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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